Being supportive does not mean making a decision for another. Rather, it means giving a listening ear, and calmly giving feedback in the form of restating the issues behind what is perhaps being emotionally expressed.

We are called on to be supportive at home and at work, with friends and family. At home our child with learning disabilities may need a calm listening ear, rather than a parent or other family member jumping right in to try to take control of the situation.

With other adults, at work, for example, the supervisor shows support by listening with a compassionate ear to our work-related needs, and revising our work load for the good of both the worker and the company in a win-win situation if needed. This is a good model for working out issues and understanding needs with our kids, at times.

Stress buster techniques

To support yourself when stressed, relax a bit; remember that issues are always resolved one way or another. When we are in a crisis we are feeling heightened emotional energy so much in our body, that we may not clearly be aware of what the issues are that need to be resolved.

Taking time to de-stress by practicing some regulated breathing and walking around, evens out the emotional impact on our body, allowing the core problems to come up to our thinking mind.

We are also being a model for our kids on how to dissolve stress. Going for a walk while talking over an issue with a child serves to work off stress and gives time to resolve the problems.

If you do some walking while talking it is beneficial to swing arms back and forth in an even rhythm. When you step forward on the right foot, swing your left arm forward, and when stepping forward on the left foot, swing your right arm forward.

And if you take a walk to calm yourself - giving time to mull over how to resolve an issue, add in coordinated breathing of 2 steps to breathe in and 2 steps to breathe out. After practicing a few steps let the pattern become automatic without thinking about it.

Kids follow our example

Let your kids follow your example, and that win-win resolve will come to mind so much faster - you're both doing something positive for your body and the mind will probably follow along.

Being supportive when our kids need extra care by listening carefully pays off in the long run for both the giver and receiver by reducing stress and working out the issues at hand.

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Article by Susan Kramer