Finals are over and students all over the world are winging their way home for the holidays. It’s a time for joy. It’s a time for fun. And, believe it or not, it’s a time for stress!
Stress??? Absolutely! Your student has spent the last few months on his own with very few rules to follow. Curfews, etc. are likely things that will need re-adjusting to. Its very likely both you and your student are going to have to bend a little and reformulate the family/household rules—at least as far as he/she is concerned—in order to coexist during the holidays.
How can you reduce your stress levels? (1) Focus on the fact that your student is an adult and try to treat him/her as such. (2) Think about how you would feel in his/her shoes. (3) Stand firm on rules that you simply have to have to make your household run smoothly. (4) Keep boundaries reasonable (understand curfews aren’t likely to have much meaning anymore, but courtesy might demand at least a phone call if your student will be out very late). (5) Choose your battles (and try not to let the minor skirmishes grow out of control). (6) Above all, remember “home” belongs to you, the parent, and you are in control. If all else fails, exert your control.
For additional tips on managing the new relationship between you and your student, see:. Sometimes we just have to accept the fact that there are some things over which we no longer have control; and maybe it is just not that important that we try to control them. No matter what, your student still loves you. And really, that’s all that matters!
So, toss the old rules out the window and do your best to have the very merriest of holidays!
Until next time,
Lynn Byrne
Preparing for college admissions? Trying to find direction? Need a little help with the planning? Check out my college planning series:
- College Planning Made Easy--the planning and preparation workbook for the take charge, college-bound student,
- Paying for College Made Easy--a college financing guide designed to assist students and families in preparing and planning for higher education expenses; and
- The Great Scholarship Search--my guide for students and parents researching and applying for scholarship funding.
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