The pathway from dependence to independence is going to vary, child to child, in those with learning disabilities. No sense in expecting all kids to be able to accomplish the same degree of self-sufficiency, if they can't learn the skills.

Starting out

Babies need full time care and everything done for them, there is no getting around it. I've noticed that as kids outgrow babyhood and begin to observe what others around them are doing, they do their best to mimic those actions.

Think about how they learn to wave bye, bye, and the later patty-cake. They seem so proud of themselves, too, you can tell by the smiles all around.

Since kids look like they enjoy copying the big kids or parents to the best of their ability, it is productive to encourage each new step. Being happy with personal accomplishments beginning as toddlers travels right through adulthood, nourishing self-esteem.

Do keep your child's abilities in mind when setting a higher expectation of personal responsibility. Small and large motor skills are progressive and when accomplished the child can work their way through their tasks more easily.

Do you want your child to make their bed? Start out pulling up the covers together. It is a big help to use a quilt with a coverlet that looks like a quilt size pillowcase as the top sheet and spread, all in one.

If the quilt is tucked in at the foot of the bed under the mattress, the child can pull the cover up neatly toward the pillow while still in bed. That was the easiest solution I found with my kids and made that a simple responsibility they were proud of accomplishing. Again, good for self-esteem.

Moving on

Climbing out of bed, what could be the next responsibility to learn? How about picking up clothes and putting them back in dresser drawers or in the laundry hamper. Let the kids in your house know how many days they can wear of pair of jeans or pajamas, for example.

They can then be in charge of getting those items in the hamper at the proper time. Now, if we could just get them to put away toys before going on to the next project! But, again, responsibility and the skills to do tasks are learned progressively.

These ideas are just a start to get you thinking how to help your kids learn self-sufficiency and responsibility. Help your kids each step of the way by modeling the expected behavior and assisting as needed.

Article by Susan Kramer

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