We have stereotypes in our society that begin as early as the preschool years. There are playstations set up for both boys and girls. Most times, from what I've experienced, there are dollhouses and toy kitchens for the girls and trucks and cars for the boys. When the boys do play with the girls in the toy kitchen area, the girls are the ones that cook, clean, and nurture, while the boys pretend to go off to work and provide for their family. Children in our society learn early on what the standard roles are for each gender. Now, fast forward to reality.

Due to our economy, many parents find that both of them must work to make ends meet. Working a full time job, paying for child care, and tending to the things that must be done in the home, are all stressors for both parents. By the end of the day, both mom and dad can feel overwhelmed and exhausted. Add to this the stress of a child that has behavioral problems. For instance, the child with Attention Deficit Disorder requires a great deal of care and patience. A child that is sick with the flu or cold also requires a lot of care and patience. Then there is the homework that must be done. There are activities that the children are involved in. There are just so many factors to be considered.

Both parents feel the stress, not just the fathers. There is nothing that says that the father is the only one that abuses the children. In our society, we may not want to believe that the mother is capable of abusing her own children, because we perceive the mother to be the nurturing one. She is supposed to be the one that combs her little girls hair before bed. She's supposed to cook the comforting dinner. How can she possibly harm her little one? She can. She feels the same stress as the father. She has breaking points just as much as the father does. I am simply saying that males are not the only abusive parents. It is important to note, however, that statistics show that males abuse more often than females. Yet, females do abuse. Our society can not turn a blind eye to this fact.

My mother was very abusive, especially when she was drunk. Both of my parents were abusive, however, my mother was a very mean drunk. The name-calling, hitting, slapping, spankings etc. were common occurances in our home when our parents were drunk. The verbal and emotional abuse was also present when they weren't drunk, but when they were drunk, the abuse from my mother was heightened.

It is especially difficult for a child when they are abused by their mothers because, again, the mother is perceived to be the nurturing parent. She is expected to be the gentle parent. She's the one that the child goes to when they fall down and have a boo-boo. She's the one they go to when they are sick and just need to be cuddled. For those children that have abusive mothers, they cannot go to her.

As the child gets older and grows into their adolescent years, it creates even more problems when their mother is the one that is abusive. They have no one they feel they can go to when they need to talk. Our society has not taught our daughters that they can go to their fathers when they need nurturing or to just talk. Neither has our society taught our boys that it is OK for them to nurture their children and wives. I never had a tender conversation with my mother. Never. Granted, our relationship was much better in my later years, but even then I could never just sit down and talk to her about anything. Even as an adult, I was verbally and emotionally abused when she was drunk. We were never able to make that connection and just talk like society says mothers and daughters are supposed to be able to do.

Our society needs to accept the fact that there are indeed abusive mothers. Again, I know what the statistics show. I only ask that those in our society remember that there are mothers that do abuse. It's important to acknowledge it in order to prevent any further child abuse. We need to accept the fact that mothers can abuse their children.

It's also important that we, as a society, encourage our fathers to interact more with their children on an emotional level. It is a beautiful sight to see a father reading a book to their child, young or old. It's completey appropriate for a father to bake cookies, help with homework, and play dolls with their children. Fathers are not there to simply be the disciplinarian or to teach how to ride a bike, use a hammer, or squash bugs. Fathers can indeed be a nurturing parent in the family unit. I encourage this with my own son.

If you see a mother that you believe is abusing her children, please don't hesitate to report the abuse to the authorities. Be very specific as to which parent you have witnessed abusing the children. Help the child to have a voice.