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Brenda Emmett
BellaOnline's Teaching LDS Editor

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Asking for Help
Guest Author - Alice Rienzo

"Some may think people are called to positions in the Church because they have perfected special talents and abilities that suit them for the calling. I am learning that perhaps we are called because we need to develop specific talents or attributes. The Lord knows us, and He knows which callings or opportunities will help us grow to spiritual maturity" (Coleen K. Menlove, Primary General President, Open House address, Mar. 2000).



We can glean much from this observation offered by Sister Menlove. One of the many responsibilities as leaders in the Primary is to observe each class periodically and to provide ongoing support and encouragement to the teachers. Why then are so many teachers reluctant to let adults observe them as they teach Primary?


Part of the reason may be that the teacher feels inadequate in his or her calling. Another reason may be a simple case of shyness (yes that would be me!). Some teachers may be apprehensive because they fear criticism and feeling as if they have failed despite giving it their best effort.


While all of these reasons and still more may contribute to understandable apprehension, teachers should be mindful of Sister Menlove’s advice: "Some may think people are called to positions in the Church because they have perfected special talents and abilities that suit them for the calling.”


Many of us are called to serve a particular position in which we are aptly under qualified to fulfill. This is the perfect time to employ lessons learned about having great faith, being humble, and about asking for help or even suggestions on how we may improve.


Not long ago, I had a very challenging Primary class. Generally, in my own observation, both my husband and I are placed in a class with our children. More specifically, it has usually been in class with our oldest son who has been diagnosed with mental illness. This in itself incorporates a special set of problems all together. Not only do we have to be a parent to that child, we must also be mindful not to set a higher standard for our own, thereby singling him or her out of the crowd and damaging self-esteem. Children’s egos are fragile and can easily be harmed.


In this particular class, not only did I have my son and his challenges, but I also had another child with severe ADHD and behavioral problems. Those were the boys. Early in my calling, I received numerous complaints from the parents of the girls who did not want their children hearing such language and discussion in Primary. I was in complete agreement – I did not want to be subject to it either. My Primary class had turned into a locker room and I was dumbfounded as to what to do. More importantly, I did not want my Primary Leaders to know how miserably I was failing at my calling.


I finally asked a friend of mine to come in and help me. I asked for help in keeping the boys’ behavior contained and emotional support for myself. I feel fortunate and blessed to have had such a talented and thoughtful friend. She helped me to see the bigger picture. She pointed out that the boys were not challenged and were bored. When they became bored, they literally took matters into their own hands.



”You need to do more than simply understand your lesson material; you need to understand the people you teach—as children of God, as members of their age-group, and as individuals.”

—Teaching, No Greater Call, 34



I had to work diligently at preparing each lesson that incorporated a variety of activities and materials. The children needed to be physically engaged in the lesson. I knew from that point on, the importance of being prepared. I also learned about the power of prayer and spiritual guidance.


”Part of your work as a gospel teacher is to help learners understand and feel Heavenly Father’s love for them. This cannot be done with words alone. It requires reaching out to individuals. . . . The Lord has exhorted us to remember that ‘the worth of souls is great in the sight of God.’ (D&C 18:10).”
—Teaching No Greater Call, 35


I have never forgotten the lessons my friend and mentor taught me that day. If you are apprehensive about letting a Primary Leader in to observe, choose someone you trust to visit your class. Just as we are to reach out to our children, we must also allow others to reach out to help us. If you will allow yourself to embrace the process, chances are good that you will grow spiritually from the experience.


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Content copyright © 2008 by Alice Rienzo. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Alice Rienzo. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Brenda Emmett for details.

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