logo
g Text Version
Beauty & Self
Books & Music
Career
Computers
Education
Family
Food & Wine
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Crafts
Home & Garden
Money
News & Politics
Relationships
Religion & Spirituality
Sports
Travel & Culture
TV & Movies

dailyclick
Bored? Games!
Nutrition
Postcards
Take a Quiz
Rate My Photo

new
Action Movies
Bible Basics
Houseplants
Romance Movies
Creativity
Family Travel
Southwest USA


dailyclick
All times in EST

Full Schedule
g
g Miscarriage Site

BellaOnline's Miscarriage Editor

g

miscarriage and Fear


I sat on the beach this last weekend and wondered when I'd become so fearful. I used to be the girl who was in the waves all day long. I didn't want to come out for lunch or anything else. Yesterday, I tried to go out and got knocked down by a big wave. After that, I told myself I was content to sit in a folding chair and stick my feet in. It just seemd too hard to get out there.

Perhaps fearful wasn't even the correct term so much as complacent. I mean, I'm not afraid to leave my house. I do all the stuff I've ever done, it's just that I don't feel much like taking risks. You always see kids and parents on the playground or wherever. The parent says “Don't do (fill in the blank).” The kids asks why and the parent says “because you could get hurt.” When we're little we aren't really cognizant of what might hurt us. As we get older, we become more aware of what might potentially be dangerous. I think that if you have a miscarriage, you may even be more risk aversive.

Losing a child through miscarriage or any other way can be extremely emotionally painfully. I know it's the worst pain I ever experienced. If we're not careful, we may find ourselves spending a lot of time and energy trying to avoid pain, becoming fearful of things that might cause us pain.

In theory it seems like a good idea. It even works for physical pain to an extent. If you burn your hand on a hot stove, you'll likely avoid putting your hand there again. But if you spend all your tme trying to avoid emotional pain, you may well end up avoiding your whole life.

Life can be complicated and messy. Good things and bad things sometimes happen simultaneously. Avoiding situttions which might cause you pain isn't a great coping skill. Not only are you being dishonest with youself on some level but you'll get in the way of your own healing. Plus you may avoid some of the good stuff life has to offer in the process.

So, if you've had a miscarriage and you feel afraid my advice would be to do something that scares you. You don't have to do something dangerous, necessarily (although if you've always wanted to climb a mountain or do extreme sports, I say go for it.) Maybe you need to set things right with someone you haven't talked to in a long time. Maybe you've always wanted to be a blonde or ask for a raise. Mabe you need to go ride a crazy rollercoaster.

The important thing is to push yourself out of your comfort zone a little. If you've had a miscarriage, you may feel desperate to feel secure again. Still nothing is a guarantee in life. Surviving something that scares you can remind you of this and help you heal.
Add miscarriage+and+Fear to Twitter Add miscarriage+and+Fear to Facebook Add miscarriage+and+Fear to MySpace Add miscarriage+and+Fear to Del.icio.us Digg miscarriage+and+Fear Add miscarriage+and+Fear to Yahoo My Web Add miscarriage+and+Fear to Google Bookmarks Add miscarriage+and+Fear to Stumbleupon Add miscarriage+and+Fear to Reddit




RSS | Related Articles | Editor's Picks Articles | Top Ten Articles | Previous Features | Site Map


For FREE email updates, subscribe to the Miscarriage Newsletter


Past Issues


print
Printer Friendly
bookmark
Bookmark
tell friend
Tell a Friend
forum
Forum
email
Email Editor


Content copyright © 2014 by Christine Beauchaine. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Christine Beauchaine. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Christine Beauchaine for details.

g


g features
Miscarriage nad Partners

Public Perception of Miscarriage

Miscarriage and Mental Health

Archives | Site Map

forum
Forum
email
Contact

Past Issues
memberscenter


vote
Poetry
Daily
Weekly
Monthly
Less than Monthly



BellaOnline on Facebook
g


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2014 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.


BellaOnline Editor