Guest Author - Caroline Chen-Whatley
On this day before Christmas, I am left with my random musings. One of the odd thoughts I have today is around Santa. If Santa Claus were to ever practice Martial Arts, what would he train?
As much as I'd love it, I don't think Santa is a Tai Chi practitioner. Sure he needs all the calmness he can get on this hectic day. But at the pace he needs to move today, I don't see him moving slowly. He has to move faster than the speed of light to make his way around the world and visit all the good girls and boys. So I guess Tai Chi is out of the question.
So what about the tried and true Karate? The most recognized form of Martial Arts is a logical first choice. The short stances would suit Santa's framework quite well. The strong, hard movements of Karate would lend itself to a stalker body. But somehow… I don't see Santa doing a kiai along with his "Ho, ho ho." Do you?
Another Martial Arts style down. What do we have left? Maybe Tae Kwon Do? Though, if you study Tae Kwon Do, it would be important to be able to do the impressive kicks that seem to always be present. I really don't see Santa doing the high kicks over his large belly. His body just really doesn't suit itself for this style.
That eliminates Wu Shu as well. The speed is definitely up Santa's alley. But the highly acrobatic style would be a challenge in the red suit and jiggling belly. Though, I must admit it would be neat to see Santa flying in the sky without his reindeer.
How about styles which are more grappling based like Judo or Pankration? Can you see Santa in his red suit (or even without the jacket) down on his knees and grappling with other Martial Artists? How about seeing him do a hip toss on his opponent?
So now I'm at a loss. What style would suit Santa? Do you have any suggestions? I'd love to hear your thoughts over on our Facebook page.