logo
g Text Version
Beauty & Self
Books & Music
Career
Computers
Education
Family
Food & Wine
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Crafts
Home & Garden
Money
News & Politics
Relationships
Religion & Spirituality
Sports
Travel & Culture
TV & Movies

dailyclick
Bored? Games!
Nutrition
Postcards
Take a Quiz
Rate My Photo

new
Romance Movies
Creativity
Family Travel
Southwest USA
Irish Culture
Home Finance
Comedy Movies


dailyclick
All times in EST

Low Carb: 8:00 PM

Full Schedule
g
g Miscarriage Site

BellaOnline's Miscarriage Editor

g

Wanting to Talk About Miscarriage


Experiencing pregnancy or infant loss can change your perspective on everyday questions. At the dentist's office today, the hygienist set up for an x-ray and asked if there was any chance I could be pregnant. I just said no. But I wanted to tell her all about that entire part of my life. I wanted to explain about my first miscarriage ten years ago. I wanted to tell her that four more followed. I wanted to tell her about finally getting pregnant, having a baby and having her die of severe congenital heart defects. I wanted to tell her about getting my tubes tied and regretting it. Still, I just said no.

Granted, I had my mouth full of dental accoutrements so even if I'd thought she'd wanted to hear it all, it wouldn't have been do-able. I know I'm not alone in my wanting to share (or over share). It's not precisely that we're looking for sympathy, although that seldom goes unappreciated. For me, and perhaps many women, it's more like the enormity of the loss is too big to contain within myself. I feel like sharing my experience perhaps diffuses it a bit, at least in the short term.

My OB-GYN has a standard form that all patients fill out prior to an annual appointment. It doesn't matter if you've been there before. You still fill out the form. It asks “how many times have you been pregnant?” Then it asks “how many living children do you have?” I think this is the worst series of questions ever. Couldn't they just ask if you've had a miscarriage? It's like they want to know but they also want to sidestep asking directly for fear of scaring you. I want to rail against these questions and complain to some anonymous form writer somewhere. And again, I want to talk about my experiences. I don't want my losses to just be a one word answer on a form. I want to acknowledge them. Part of me wants other people to acknowledge them too.

So, what are you to do if basic questions (and forms) and up making you crazy? First of all, you do need to use some discretion. Clearly, not everyone needs to know the details of your losses. However, that doesn't mean you can't talk about it. Even if you feel you've moved past your loss, consider helping someone who hasn't. Check out online support group and reach out to someone who's experienced a miscarriage. Consider reaching out in person too if you know someone who's experienced pregnancy or infant loss. Send a card or just say you understand. Even if you don't know the person very well, it's likely your gesture will be appreciated.

You can also wear a piece of miscarriage jewelry, an awareness-themed t-shirt or get a pregnancy and infant loss bumper sticker. You just might be able to encourage people to ask questions or open a discussion.

Remember, miscarriage isn't even on most people's radar. If a question or form seems upsetting or insensitive, it's not likely by design.
Add Wanting+to+Talk+About+Miscarriage to Twitter Add Wanting+to+Talk+About+Miscarriage to Facebook Add Wanting+to+Talk+About+Miscarriage to MySpace Add Wanting+to+Talk+About+Miscarriage to Del.icio.us Digg Wanting+to+Talk+About+Miscarriage Add Wanting+to+Talk+About+Miscarriage to Yahoo My Web Add Wanting+to+Talk+About+Miscarriage to Google Bookmarks Add Wanting+to+Talk+About+Miscarriage to Stumbleupon Add Wanting+to+Talk+About+Miscarriage to Reddit




RSS | Related Articles | Editor's Picks Articles | Top Ten Articles | Previous Features | Site Map


For FREE email updates, subscribe to the Miscarriage Newsletter


Past Issues


print
Printer Friendly
bookmark
Bookmark
tell friend
Tell a Friend
forum
Forum
email
Email Editor


Content copyright © 2014 by Christine Beauchaine. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Christine Beauchaine. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Christine Beauchaine for details.

g


g features
Emotions Have Physical Presence

British Miscarriage Survey

Be Compassionate With Yourself

Archives | Site Map

forum
Forum
email
Contact

Past Issues
memberscenter


vote
Poetry
Daily
Weekly
Monthly
Less than Monthly



BellaOnline on Facebook
g


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2014 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.


BellaOnline Editor