Marriage is a combination of friendship, love, and the intimacy of a physical union. Call it making love, marital relations, or by any other name, it is the pleasurable act and art of sex. We expect it, it is good for our health, we need it, we want it in our marriages so it comes as a surprise when, for one reason or another, we stop having sex.

Pinpointing the reason for lack of sex is the major key to getting back a healthy sex life. Unfortunately too many people put the subject of sex aside either not wanting to discuss it or hoping “things will straighten out on their own eventually.” They won’t.

What are some of the things that cause no sex marriages? Our frenetic lifestyles for one. We tend to put sex last on our daily “to do” list. Work, kids, activities, long hours of “day-into-night,” all lead to exhaustion and exhaustion leads to lack of sex drive. How romantic can you be when you can barely keep your eyes open? As one harried mother and wife put it:

“I hate to say it like this but, at the end of the day, sex is just one more chore.”

Researchers have found that when couples in a so-called sexless marriage are able to get away from family and work, and vacation on their own, their sexual activity is comparable to honeymoon sex. Sex becomes a priority when they are relaxed and stress is a distant memory. They have time and energy to devote to each other.

The solution to a lifestyle that physically drains you is to take stock immediately of what you and your spouse need to be sexually active with each other. Is getting away for a weekend out of the question or is it a possibility? Can you have quiet time at least once a week at an hour early enough so that you’re both still relatively fresh?
How important is the sexual side of your relationship to both of you? Be honest with each other.

Take charge of your life. Be your own manager. If you were paid to schedule time for someone else, you would. Why not treat yourself the same as you would another person? Your pay can be the reward of being with the person you love.

A second reason for no sex is the “anger syndrome.” Can you make love with a person with whom you are angry? Do you hold on to anger and let it smolder, keeping your spouse away? Anger is one of the least productive emotions. It drains you and keeps you from living. Get rid of it! Who’s right or who’s wrong doesn’t matter in the long run and snuggling up to “anger” just doesn’t feel as good as cuddling with your mate. Remember: Anger isn’t kissable, touchable, or sexy!

The last reason for no sex may be more serious than the other two mentioned. If stress, overwork, exhaustion, or fighting is not the reason for lack of sex it may be time to see a doctor. Health problems, both physical and mental, can cause a drop in sex drive.

Get a complete physical check-up and be frank with your doctor. Physical problems from diabetes, thyroid, menstrual cycles, menopause, prostate, arthritis, etc. can be affecting your libido. Remind your doctor of any medications you may be on, even those over–the-counter ones we pick up so casually. If you’re going to a new doctor, bring a list of any meds you take.

Depression also affects sexual desire.Tell your doctor if feeling sad or "down" is a continuous feeling.You may need medication to help alleviate depression. Be aware however, that some anti-depression medication can also lower sexual desire.Discuss medication that will have a low sexual side effect.

Doctors are willing to help; just be open and honest about your sexual problems. This is not the time to be embarrassed. There is rarely anything she or he hasn’t heard before. Sex is healthy and normal and an expression of a healthy normal relationship.

Remember you are in charge of your life and your sex life. Make time for the both of you. Enjoy each other.

Sacred Jude in my life,Miracles Abound!!