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Feeling inadequate


I am educated – I have a degree, plus other workplace certificates and I train others in workplace skills. I am accomplished – I play the piano, write articles. I am clever – I see through problems and find solutions, I sew, knit, crochet, paint, cook, garden. I am quick – I do most things in half the time it takes others. I have numerous skills- I build web sites, design newsletters, cook, clean, wash, multi-task, I raised three children to be successful adults (by myself). So why then do I feel inadequate simply because there is one task I don’t do so well?

The other day at work I received a phone call. It was my employer phoning from the airport on his way to London. There was of course a lot of background noise. Add to that the land line phone to the office is overloaded with broadband, EFTPOS and fax and therefore has a lot of interference. I was using a hands free handset which gives me distortion and buzzing. In addition he was phoning from a mobile and the call was breaking up. Little wonder I couldn’t really understand what he was saying but I could sense his frustration in not being able communicate with me. I tried to tell him he was breaking up and then the line went dead. I don’t know if he hung up or whether we were cut off. I felt inadequate.

A few seconds later my mobile rang (and I answered the land line phone didn’t I!) I answered the call and while it was clearer, by now I was a little anxious and so couldn’t hear (or keep the phone sweet spot over my Cochlear Implant Processor microphone) so once again I felt inadequate. I calmed down, asked him to hold and got out my processor cord and plugged into the phone and processor. This at last gave me good clear consistent sound and I felt better about being able to hear his conversation clearly.

I know I got the job because they thought I could do it. And I know they have been more than appreciative of the skill set I apply and the volume of work I get through. But the phone has been a bit of contention since day one. I actually did a phone interview to get the job and because it was on my mobile I was able to communicate well. How was I to know that their landline phone would be bad and their handsets not compatible with my implant?

Interestingly, at another place I work I also have trouble hearing the owner – but no problems in hearing any other calls I need to make. So what is it that makes me feel inadequate when talking to my employers? Why should I when I have so many skills?
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Guilt and hearing loss
How deafness affects our well being
Coping with a phone at an interview
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Content copyright © 2014 by Felicity Bleckly. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Felicity Bleckly. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Felicity Bleckly for details.

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