Guest Author - Lauren D´Silva
Life on Planet Earth can be quite stressful and at times it seems there is one drama after another popping up in our lives. Unless you go off and live in a cave you are unlikely to avoid conflict and difficulties entirely! Here are strategies I have found helpful when things get tough:
When we are stressed our breathing becomes faster and shallower. This is all part of the body’s automatic fight or flight response. Most modern conflicts are not physical, they are verbal, and so you will neither be physically fighting someone nor running away. If you are stuck in fight or fight mode you cannot think rationally. Rarely are our dramas life or death situations, therefore we need to calm down in order to respond wisely. Breathing slowly and deeply is one of the quickest ways to calm yourself as your breathing directly affects your brainwaves. Take a few minutes out just to focus on your breath and you will feel calmer.
Don’t deny your emotions
If you are angry be angry, if you are sad then cry. Emotions do not harm us if we acknowledge them, allow them to be felt and to flow through us. When we repress them, attach to them, or fling them at other people then they can be damaging!
Take some exercise
Going for a walk or doing some other exercise can take the edge off strong emotions and the physical activity will help you use up any adrenaline that was released if you found yourself in fight or flight mode.
Remember that this too will pass
No drama lasts forever, therefore you can get through this. Look back over your life and you will probably see there were some times in which it felt your life was falling apart and yet you came through.
Talk to a true friend
We all need a trusted friend or two who can put things in their proper perspective and keep your discussion confidential. Choose carefully, you do not need a friend who will jump into the drama with you and amplify it, nor one who will gossip! My wise friends invariably calm me and help me find the humour in any situation, which always releases stress. Of course I play a similar role for some of my friends and they feel much better after talking to me too!
Take time out
To get a proper perspective it is often necessary to put an emotionally charged situation aside for a while and do something else. You might immerse yourself in another project or activity for an hour or two, or go out and do something fun. When you come back to the issue you can look at it with fresh eyes. In an argument where someone is pressuring you to respond it is okay to say, “I need some time to think about this, I’ll get back to you.”
Sleep on it
Things often feel different in the morning. Rather than making impulsive knee-jerk responses sleep on the issue. In the morning you will probably be able to see the way forward and you may also receive guidance through your dreams.
Set your intention for the Highest Good
In a conflict situation everyone tends to take sides or have agendas, this of course is how wars start! If you set your intention to the Highest Good you will probably be guided to act in a way that is truly beneficial.
Remember who you really are
You are an eternal being with no beginning and no ending. As such you are not defined by the roles you play in this lifetime. When you connect to your eternal essence you’ll find you can rise above the drama. Detaching in this way does not mean you don’t care, it means you are not sucked into the maelstrom of events and allows you to see the greater picture.
Drop into inner peace
Although there may be all kinds of surface drama you can still access a well of inner peace. Meditation is a wonderful aid to finding that still space within. Just sitting quietly and breathing will help you drop out of the drama. When you come back to the situation you may feel inspired to act in a wiser way.
Here is a message I channelled for my book, Light behind the Angels:
Let us lift the last veils of deception from you.
In the One moment all that has occurred is but a dream and you are the dreamer.
Wave after endless wave. Your troubles are all on the surface.
On the waves you will ever be tossed and in turmoil.
The surface only is disturbed, the deeps are still and quiet.
Dive beneath the surface of yourself now and connect with the changeless depths of you.
There you will find the treasure, the pearls, not tossed around on the wave tops.
The pearl is hidden deep within and to reach it you must dive into your innermost being
And not be distracted by the surface drama.
Such supreme beauty awaits mankind when he awakes from his dream of himself and
Looks to the treasure of his soul.
You must go deeper and deeper into the mysteries of the eternal you.
It is the only journey worth taking and its price is forgiveness,
Forgiveness of others, but especially of yourself.
For who can blame the dreamer for their actions?
It is only when you are truly awake that you can take full responsibility for what befalls you,
For now your eyes are opened and you can see.