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BellaOnline's Marriage Editor


Lesson 6 - Why You Should Stay Married

Guest Author - Sadiyya Patel

It all comes down to attitude, doesnīt it? Cynics have called marriage the "old ball and chain." Many happily married couples disagree, because they donīt see marriage as slavery and bondage, where an individualīs natural instincts and desires have to play second fiddle to the happiness of the other half.

Happily married couples say that marriage has taught them to accept each otherīs strengths and possibilities. They argue that by doing that, they transform themselves from the ordinary to the extraordinary.

Marriage should be the one relationship where you have the freedom to be who they really are, to reach for the stars and discover what you are meant to be without ridicule or rejection.

Marriage and Happiness

Many of us have read reports that drive home the message: married people are healthier and happier, and live longer than single or celibate individuals.

Why is this?

For one, there is the emotional support they receive when the going gets tough. Married life also provides the opportunities to be heard and understood by someone who loves and cares for us and who is invested in our lives and happiness.In fact one of the reasons people say they like being married is the assurance that there is someone they can come home to at the end of a hard day.

"The need to make the partnership work is often the secret of happy marriages. As Masters and Johnson said, "Although these marriages may be loveless, they are not necessarily bad. Even good marriages are susceptible to a disappearance of love."
- William Masters, Virginia Johnson, Robert Kolodny. Masters and Johnson on Sex and Human Loving. Little, Brown & Company, Ltd. USA. 1985.

This doesnīt mean that you should stay in a loveless marriage. What it does mean is that you should make the effort to sustain love and intimacy. It wonīt appear automatically, it must be nurtured.