The solemnity of Easter and Passover brings to mind the closeness of family. For some married couples, it also brings a sadness.They want to share the holiday not only with adult family members but with a child of their own.These are couples who desire to have children but who are having fertility problems.

This is the story of three couples who each desperately wanted a baby. All went through the agony, pain, and hope of fertility treatments; only one couple got pregnant.

My friend Lynn has a home that I love to visit. Her house is beautifully put together. She collects antique toys with which she decorates her rooms. Lynn also crochets gorgeous blankets and baby clothes which she gives at baby showers. She would make a wonderful mother. She and her husband Rob have everything they could want in life except a baby.

Lynn has been through all the infertility treatments even one where she had her ovaries shrunk, causing a sort of menopause, then was given massive doses of hormones to “plump” them up hoping to create large amounts of eggs. Nothing worked. She and her husband have been trying for over twelve years. It is their personal choice not to adopt. They are going to keep on trying because carrying a child in her womb is that important to Lynn. Lynn’s health insurance from her teaching position pays for many of the procedures. Rob works two jobs to cover the rest.

Lynn says:
“People tell me that we should adopt but that was never an option for us. It may sound vain but I want a child from my own body. I want to be pregnant.”

Barrie and her husband Jim have tried fertility treatments but they made a deal with each other. If the treatments didn’t work within five years, they would stop trying. The expense and emotional upheaval was taking its collective toll on them .At the end of the five years they were in their middle forties and adopting in the USA was difficult. They went to China and adopted a baby girl.

Barrie and Jim say:
“We were taken to a room in a hotel where there were at least twenty babies lying on two long cots. As we walked in a line, a baby was given to us. It was like an assembly line. Barrie is tiny and it was kind of funny because when our turn came, the next baby was the biggest one there! But when they put Christy in our arms she was ours from that moment on.” They went back 4 years later and adopted a second daughter.

Michelle wanted a child desperately. After three years of unsuccessful trying, her husband Stan had surgery for a blockage. Michelle also had surgery for tubal scar tissue. After surgery and hormone treatments, they had in-vitro which worked on the first try, a rarity most infertility doctors say. Their insurance paid for all of the procedures and the baby is due in June, 2007.

Stan says:
“We encourage couples to keep trying as long as they can afford the stress and aggravation. They should exhaust all avenues."

Wanting a child is a personal choice and whether you choose to go to a fertility doctor or to adopt is a decision only you and your spouse can make. There are many avenues you can wander in your search for a child. The best thing to do is to speak openly and candidly with each other and to seek counseling if possible.

Set time limits and find out how much your insurance will pay. Decide how much stress, time, and money you are willing to invest, then take stock of your lives together. Make decisions that will help make your lives happier and your marriage stable.

Sacred Jude, Spirit Guide!!