Funny Marriage Advice that Works

Tired old marriage clichés may work for some, but sometimes, the sillier solutions work best. Here are a few of my favorites from readers, forum posters, and those in my social network who threatened to disown me if I printed their names.

“Never teach your spouse anything.” It’s fine to learn together, but for some reason, assuming the roles of teacher and student causes an uncomfortable imbalance in the marriage. Unless the learning spouse can be humble and the teaching spouse can be patient, power struggles and arguments will ensue. I myself have learned a lot from my husband, but he is rather impatient with me. He refuses to teach me how to golf, and other golfers say that is a very wise decision for both of us.

“Cover his/her faux paus.” Maintaining each other’s dignity is vital to the trust you share in being partners. Never ridicule or criticize—especially in public. When he blunders, cover for him. Too many wives are the first to guffaw at their mates’ humiliation. A sweet woman I knew would be ever so patient with her loud husband and when he would thunder on, repeating a tiresome story at every social function, she wouldn’t stop him. Instead, at the end, she would say, “And darling, that story gets better every time you tell it” which would elicit chuckles from others and diffuse any audience tension.

“To win a fight with your husband, start taking off your clothes.” This is based on the sound principle of distraction and attraction. How can he stay angry when he’s looking at you so vulnerable and exposed and enticing that like? I wonder if there should be some guidelines. Is there an age limit? Could this trigger yet another argument? “You shouldn’t have quit going to the gym!” “I told you not to keep making me cheesecake!”

”Laugh at his jokes.” It’s true that a man is attracted to a woman who has a sense of humor, but if that were 100 percent true, there would be zero single comediennes. The whole truth is, a man gauges a woman’s “sense of humor” by how much and how often, she laughs at his jokes. He likes to see himself as humorous and witty. I can attest to this tip. It’s funny how when I don’t laugh at my husband’s jokes, he thinks that I am “losing” my sense of humor. Never does it cross his mind that he might be losing his sense of funny. But when I laugh at his jokes once again, he smiles and peace is restored to our universe. (To be fair, I never fake it here. He is a funny guy although his jokes can come at a most politically incorrect moment.)

If you can share a funny, silly or odd marriage tip, please email it to me using the contact button on this page or visit us in the Marriage site forum.