Guest Author - Krissi Danielsson

I read a comment on an online discussion board recently that bothered me. A person claimed that numerous moms who'd suffered a loss might not want their actions analyzed, because it might show that they could somehow be blamed for their miscarriages. Sadly, this is an all-too-common attitude. I ruefully remember back in my own pre-miscarriage days when I self-righteously believed miscarriage was something that could only happen to other people, because I was going to take care of myself properly.

Fate soon showed me the error of my thinking, but sadly, this is an all-too-common attitude. Not only do other people think that miscarriage is a woman's fault, but frequently women blame themselves for their losses and have a nagging voice wondering...if only I'd taken that prenatal vitamin or not drank that diet soda? If only I hadn't been so stressed out, just maybe the baby would have stuck.

The truth is that miscarriage is very rarely anyone's fault. In at least 9 cases out of ten, if not more, nothing you did or didn't do caused your miscarriage. It's not your fault.

What does cause miscarriages

As your doctor most likely told you, the majority of miscarriages result from random chromosomal abnormalities in the developing baby. An egg or sperm will fail to divide properly and end up with the wrong number of chromosomes to form a healthy human being. While sometimes a baby with specific chromosomal abnormalities can make it to birth, such as in the case of Down's Syndrome (trisomy 21), most of the time mistakes in the number of chromosomes leave the developing baby without all the genetic material he or she needs to grow, and this causes the baby to die in utero. Chromosomal abnormalities are not a result of failing to take your prenatal vitamins or bad dietary habits. They can happen to anyone -- and in most cases they're random anomalies and everything will most likely be fine next time. It's somewhat more statistically common for older mothers to have miscarriages due to chromosomal abnormalities, but frequently afflict younger mothers too. Again, it's no one's fault.

Other frequent causes of miscarriage are also biological. They can be caused by chronic diseases such as diabetes, immune system abnormalities, random hormonal imbalances, or an abnormally shaped uterus. As with chromosomal abnormalities, none of these conditions are caused by factors within your control -- though they can usually be treated, so if you have two miscarriages in a row you should see a doctor to discuss whether one of these might be at work in your case.

What doesn't cause miscarriages

Your diet didn't cause your miscarriage. There's no evidence to support this. Forgetting to take your prenatal vitamins also doesn't cause miscarriage. Remember that women give birth in malnourished countries around the world, so simply eating a less than optimal diet or not taking your vitamins in itself is not going to cause a miscarriage.

Having a few drinks, or even getting completely drunk, before you found out you were pregnant is also unlikely to cause a miscarriage. Since not all pregnancies are planned, women frequently may find out they're pregnant as a surprise and still go on to have a perfectly healthy baby.

Stress is also not likely to have caused your miscarriage. There is some evidence that extreme emotional stress may be linked to miscarriage, but as far as general anxiety, remember that most mothers are anxious and worry about their babies, yet the human race is still in existence. Studies linking stress to miscarriage more likely mean the stress of extreme, traumatic life events or continued stress at an extreme level -- not the stress of normal everyday worries.

There are studies linking miscarriage to alcohol, smoking, caffeine, and use of NSAIDs. Numerous studies link excessive drinking and smoking to increased odds of miscarriage, so it's wise to avoid doing either if you're pregnant or hoping to become pregnant. Excessive caffeine intake is also positive correlated with increased risk of miscarriage. However, bear in mind that while these factors may be correlated with miscarriage, no one thing that anyone does is going to be what makes the difference between miscarrying and not. If it were as easy to cause a miscarriage as having a single alcoholic drink or drinking one too many cups of coffee, there would be very few babies born. So it's good practice to avoid these substances while pregnant, but if you used them, the odds are still low that it had anything to do with your loss.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the important thing to remember is not to blame yourself. Very few losses are caused by something the mother did, and no one thing that anyone does is going to cause a miscarriage of a healthy baby.