Marriage is wonderful, right? Doing everything together, spending time in each other’s company; living as a couple. You enjoy the shared intimacy, the fact that the love of your life is always there. This is great, isn’t it?

Well, not always.

Okay, here’s the reality. As wonderful as this partnership is, it can be overwhelming, sometimes suffocating, and a little too much of a good thing. There are times when you need a place that is yours alone, a secluded do-not-disturb area; your own space.

But needing and achieving it are two different things. Besides, the love of your life may not understand why you want to be alone when you can be together! What can you do to keep both your spouse and yourself happy? Surprisingly a lot.

First talk to your spouse about the need you both have for some quiet alone time and your separate interests. Not all interests are shared; you’re individuals. Let him know that, as much as you love being together, you need time for yourself; you need to refresh your mind.

Create an area in your home that is distinctly “you.” It can be in the kitchen, your bedroom, a living room; anywhere there is space to make your own. A good example is one a friend of mine has created in her kitchen pantry.

The pantry is a small space between the kitchen and the dining area. She has placed a table with a comfortable chair in it and has several books, a journal, and fresh flowers on the table. It is an unwritten rule that twice a week she will sit and read or write in her journal for at least an hour. Her husband takes this time to go to a sports forum on the computer in their living room. Their separate interests are satisfied.

Make sure that everyone, your children included, knows that this is your time alone. Give a time frame that cannot be disturbed unless there is an emergency. Define what the word emergency means so everyone is clear on that!

Don’t break your own rule about not being disturbed. Too many times we will put ourselves last to do something for someone else. Respect this time for you as you would respect another person’s private time.

Get rid of any guilt that you’re being selfish and think of this time as an investment in your life. If you feel good, relaxed, and stress-free, it will carry over to all your relationships.



Sacred Jude, Spirit Guide!!