Guest Author - Lori Phillips
“Marriage is a sacred institution. I’m just not ready to be institutionalized.” --Mae West
Too bad for Mae. Marriage is the crowning glory of committed love. To marry means, from the billions of people on earth, you have chosen only your beloved and forsaken all the rest. Now, and until death do you part, neither of you will ever walk alone again. Through good and bad times, your partner will stand firmly beside you, never to leave you. Your lover and best friend all rolled into one. In an often cruel and uncertain world, you have a loyal, trusted sidekick to watch your back.
All the worn adages somehow call to our deepest desires. It isn’t any wonder why we rush into marriage with fresh hopes and willing hearts. Why, then, is maintaining a good marriage so hard?
The truth about marriage is that it is not a one-size-fits-all institution. Every marriage is as unique as each individual partner. Not recognizing this important fact is where most marital advice books are flawed. Whether you turn to books, counselors or the neighbor across the backyard fence, you must keep in mind that what works for one person may not work for you.
Marriage is a term that signifies the commitment two people have made to each other. But the term ‘marriage’ itself does not define the parameters of the relationship. So what is the definition of a successful marriage? A successful marriage is a union in which both partners, after having made legal and/or faith-based vows of commitment, share a love for each other and enjoy contentment with their exclusive relationship.
The framework of today’s successful marriage is as varied as all the architectural structures of the world. My goal for this site is to help you build your own successful marriage as you define and set your own foundation.
We’ll read about the day-to-day workings of real life marriages that succeed or don’t. We’ll share insights from our own lives in this place where we can pour out the contents of our hearts—woman to woman. You’ll be able to share your thoughts and give your advice to women around the world as they endeavor to create the fulfilling marriages they desire. And I open up my own life and marriage to you in raw honesty in the hope that you will find something to learn and something of value for your own marriage.
My marriage philosophy is very different from others. I do not always disagree with the guidelines followed by marriage relationship experts, but I do believe that they tend to focus on the negative which only magnifies the problems in a marriage. I do believe that they require too much analyzing and overworking already battle-weary spouses. I do believe that there is a better way to improve marriages right away rather than after years of intense therapy.
Husbands and wives also may not always like what I say. There are some hard truths to face and often times, people only want to hear what will validate their actions and support their feelings. If you only want to complaint about your spouse and marriage, you're in the wrong place. I'm here to help you create a better and happier marriage, and sometimes that will call you to make some personal changes. Most of what you will find on this site will involve SELF work...not changing the other person. Even if the other person IS the problem, the solution lies within you.
If you are sincerely seeking help and are willing to be honest with yourself, you will find answers here.
It is a common thought that marriages take hard work, but I don’t like that image. Marriage takes celebration, not work. It is only hard work if you resist the simple truths about human nature.
People complicate love. My own success with marriage and helping others with their marriages relies on the simplicity of human nature and love. I bring things down to the honest and simple truths that every human can relate to. The good news is that this way of seeing things brings around quick results. People understand each other at the core of their being. They learn simply to love and then get out of the way to let love do the work.
You will be surprised that learn that love really is simple, and love is powerful. And love really is enough.