Guest Author - Krissi Danielsson

For a lot of people, it's "the most wonderful time of the year," but for many people it's a time of depression. This can be particularly true if you've recently had a miscarriage. It may be hard to get too worked up about joy and gift giving when everything just reminds you of your lost baby. You might be thinking about the fact that this should have been a special time of expectation, or your first Christmas with a new baby.

If you feel this way, you're not alone. That's the first thing you need to remember. A lot of the people in your life might not understand why you don't feel like getting in the Christmas spirit. You might find yourself the recipient of unintentionally hurtful comments from relatives who don't understand, particularly if your family tradition is to have a lot of relatives over. Here are some tips for how to get through it all with your sanity:

Give yourself space.
If there's going to be a big family gathering, particularly one with pregnant relatives or those with small children, step out and be alone for a few minutes if you feel like you need to. Bow out early from long gatherings if you're feeling spent.

...but don't isolate yourself.
Spend time with people you love and who love you. You shouldn't have to be alone with your grief, and being alone might make you feel even worse.

Do something special for yourself.
Get a massage, or indulge in a giant chocolate sundae. Just get away and focus on yourself for a little while.

Don't feel bad about crying for your lost baby.
You had a loss and you have the right to feel pain. It's okay to cry.

...but have fun if you feel up to it.
There's no reason to feel guilty, and enjoying yourself is not disrespecting your loss.

Do something to remember your lost baby.
It could be a special angel-shaped ornament on the Christmas tree, planting a tree in the garden, or a prayer if you're of a spiritual nature. A lot of women find that performing some kind of personal, special memorial activity helps them cope with a loss.

Talk to someone.
When you feel like you need to get feelings out, get them out. Talk to your husband, best friend, mom, or whoever has been your biggest support through your loss. If you don't have anyone understanding around, go online to discussion boards or start a journal. The important thing is to not keep feelings pent up inside.

Look forward to the future.
Even if you don't have a baby right now, if you're actively trying to build your family then the odds are heavily in your favor that you'll be a mom someday. This, too, shall pass.

Got any tips for getting through the holidays? Post in the forum.