Guest Author - Carolyn Chambers Clark, ARNP, EdD

Remember, the holidays won't make you feel better unless you make it happen. If you're depressed, angry, or resentful, those feelings won't just disappear because it's the holiday.

* Things always take longer than you think to complete. Don't overdo or overbook. Always allow more time than you think it will take to complete an activity. Doing so will keep you from being cranky, fatigued, frustrated and depressed.

* You are in control of how you feel. You can choose to be sad, mad or joyous. If you want to have a happy holiday season, choose to have an attitude of gratitude. You can't be sad or mad and also feel gratitude.

* Decide how you want to act at holiday gatherings so you will feel mastery over and satisfaction with what you say and do. If you know you've acted at your highest level of being, you can walk away from the event knowing you've done your best. Since you can't control what your family does, be grateful that you did the best you could do.

* Volunteer to help someone less fortunate with you. Doing some kind of community service, whether it's dishing up stew at a soup kitchen, reading to underprivileged kids, singing carols for the aged and disabled or whatever, will lift your spirits.

* Avoid reliving or retelling past resentments with family members or friends and refuse to get drawn into such discussions if anyone else tries to provoke you. Reliving and retelling past resentments only sets off negative feeling in everyone. Call an amnesty on past grievances. Use this simple meditation and say it over and over if you're tempted to relive or retell:

"The past is over and done. It has gone back to the nothingness from whence it came. I am free. I am strong."

* Avoid trying to make this holiday just like it was when you were a child. You can never go back. Enjoy positive reminiscences, then let them go. Enjoy the now.

* If you're short on money or just because it's fun, save some time for low-cost fun holiday activities like window-shopping, enjoying the countryside or viewing others' decorations.

* Avoid using the holidays as a reason to overindulge in food or drink. Don't give yourself a reason to feel guilty. Alcohol is a depressant and so is gaining weight. Enjoy food, but don't overeat.

* Create a time for yourself to take a bubble bath, listen to a relaxation tape, enjoy the decorations you or your family members have put up. You deserve to enjoy! So go---enjoy!

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