Guest Author - Sadiyya Patel
There are so many common myths about marriage that it sometimes becomes hard to separate fact from fiction.
Here are a few of the most common marriage destroying myths.
Myth #1 -Having conflict or getting angry with your spouse means that your marriage is doomed to failure.
This is false.All marriages, even the most rock-solid ones have their ups and downs. It's impossible to live together and not to disagree every once in a while. Disagreements are not only unavoidable, they are a necessary part of a healthy marriage.
If you bottle up your negative feelings, you are likely to become angry, to feel resentful and start hating your partner and eventually becoming physically ill.
You need to tell your partner if something bothers you so that he/she can correct. it. But you need to temper this freedom of expression with good judgment. It's best to choose your battles wisely and not become a nitpicker.
Myth #2 - Your marriage won't last if there are too many differences between your interests, background, likes & dislikes.
Happily married people have realized that their partner isn't supposed to be their clone. Life would be terribly boring if your spouse was exactly like you, wouldn't it? Happily married couples appreciate their differences, and if they can't appreciate them, they simply accept them.
Myth #3 -In order for you to have a healthy marriage, your spouse has to express love in the same way that you express love.
For each of us, our understanding of love and what makes us feel loved is unique and different.The trick is to find out what makes your husband or wife feel loved and then express your love for him/her in a way that he/she understands best.You also need to tell your spouse what makes you feel loved rather than hoping that he or she guesses correctly.
You just fall out of love. There's nothing you can do about it.
Many people believe that love is a feeling that's either there or it's not. And if the feeling of love isn't there anymore, that's ample justification for divorce.
That's just so untrue. You don't just fall out of love. If there's no love left in your marriage, it's probably because your spouse and marriage isn't a priority. Love isn't a feeling, love is a decision you make and an action that you take.
Your actions on a daily basis will determine how much love you feel for each other. If you behave in a loving fashion, you will feel more loving. Don't wait to be in a loving mood first. You might be in for a very long wait.
Myth #5 - Second Marriages are Better Because You Learn From Your Mistakes.
If this was true, 60% of second marriages wouldn't end in divorce. There are several reasons for the high rate of divorces in second marriages. Many people blindly repeat the same mistakes they made in their first marriages. Stepchildren, ex's and so on make second marriages even more difficult and challenging.
Have you been falling prey to any one of these widely spread marriage myths? Well , now you know the truth. And the truth always sets you free....free to have a happier and healthier marriage.