Guest Author - Lori Phillips
"The Problem with Women...is Men: The Evolution of a Man's Man to a Man of Higher Consciousness"
by Charles J. Orlando
One day, a self-admitted “recovered playboy” decided to talk to women—1,197 women to be exact—and he not only listened but he took notes! Husband, author and former high tech marketing exec Charles Orlando did what all women wish their mates would do: see things from their perspective. And the proverbial light bulb clicked on. Men need to evolve, he says. That Orlando caught on when other men don’t is no surprise considering he is a member of MENSA. But if other men have half his intelligence, they’d listen to his insights while their women will cheer.
Orlando admits he comes from the “shadier side of relationships” and laments the disappearance of “gentlemen.” He divulges what the 1,197 women dished about their dissatisfactions and outlines the faults of the “unevolved man” namely uber-dominance, control issues, and emotional unavailability. And if your man is unsure about his evolutionary status, Orlando provides a mini-quiz.
Questions include “What is an aperitif?” “What is a palindrome?” “How many chick flicks have you seen in the past 12 months?” “How many pairs of shoes do you own?” and, speaking of shoes, “After what calendar date do women stop wearing white shoes?” That, by the way, hints at Orlando’s slightly outdated fashion knowledge because that old “no white shoes after Labor Day” is moot. I had to laugh when I read, “What is the correct answer to ‘Does this dress make me look fat, honey?’” I respectfully disagree with his politically correct answer. I believe an evolved woman wants the truth.
He sprinkles real life examples of men with "caveman-like" mentality just in case you didn't think they were out there. One guy actually insisted that his wife "warmed up" the toilet seat for him. If I were married to a "caveman" like that, I'd club him over the head and set up my own fire in another cave.
Unevolved men who find themselves unmarried and floundering in the mist of dissatisfying relationships could find that this book helps them realize their flaws and learn behaviors that will make themselves easier to live with. It's a good handbook for men without a clue.
If you’re married to a man who knows how to tie a tie, hold you when you’re having a bad day, how much to tip (he includes a gratuity guide), remember your birthday, say “I’m sorry” and talk about more than what’s on the Sport Channel, you may not need all of the stuff in this book but glean, glean and you may catch some interesting ideas here like how to take back some control from a man with three simple steps. This is good stuff a man would never tell a woman. (I’m not gonna give it all away here. Would that be fair to Orlando?)
But if you are married to a Neanderthal, then by all means, give him a copy of this book. He’ll be given a brief overview of what makes a decent partner, from avoiding vulgarity to changing a toilet paper roll. Other basic guidelines for “hygiene protocol” include “aim, aim, aim” and “always wipe stray whiskers off the sink.”
You’ve probably already tried to tell him these things but you know how it is, some men will listen to another guy before they’ll heed your nagging. One potential problem: Do Neanderthal men read? Maybe Orlando should have included pictographs.