Guest Author - Sally Davies

Granny and Grandpa aren't what they used to be. Today's grandparents not only have many skills; they're generally fitter, better educated, more affluent and more numerous than those of previous generations. This means that families are increasingly likely to have vital, active grandparents. The so-called Baby Boomers - born after WWII and now reaching retirement - are a grandparent force to be reckoned with. Many are well prepared to make a positive difference, which is good news for overstretched parents and also for children who need the security and stability of grandparents more than ever today.

Yet grandparents may lack the confidence or resources to take up the challenge. Some live far away, but have not learned to use computer technology to stay in daily contact. Others doubt their value, wondering what they have in common with modern children, or believing that retirement is a stage for entertaining oneself and staying out of the way. Too many have a limited idea of grandparent roles based on outdated stereotypes of elderly people.

Not every grandparent realizes how much investment in grandchildren can bless their own latter years. Like parenting, dedicated grandparenting involves sacrifice and some may not be open to that. Many families struggle with unresolved conflicts or resentments from the past, and in some cases grandparents lose contact with grandchildren altogether.

Few books on parenting or family life have actively encouraged grandparenting, although this is now changing. Instead, they have often described problems caused by grandparents. Such problems include mistaking interference for involvement; manipulating the family; or drawing young people into old battles that should have been set aside long ago, with hurtful results.

In all this problem talk, the positive role and the rights of grandparents are easily forgotten. With few exceptions, children have a right to know their own grandparents. Grandparents need opportunities to bond with grandchildren, and every effort should be made to support them. The mere fact that a parent dislikes or resents a grandparent is not, in itself, enough reason to deprive either child or grandparent of this important relationship; the child is his or her own person and may relate to the grandparent in a quite different way.

It does not matter if a grandparent is frail. A fit, strong grandparent is able to help parents in practical ways, but from the child's point of view the key is vitality and spirit. Love, caring and wise understanding are the foundations of grandparenting, for children of all ages and even grown-up grandchildren.

Strong bonds between children and older adults promote self awareness, confidence, self esteem, emotional balance and optimism. The lives of seniors and elderly people are also enriched and another line of defence against loneliness or meaninglessness is created.

Today, the popular perception of grandparents as sitting in the bleachers of family life is changing. National and international organizations work to educate the public about grandparenting, and take up the cudgels for grandparent rights. Grandparents are reading, surfing the Net and joining groups to encourage each other. As a loving, involved grandparent you affect not only your grandchildren, but future generations, since they will draw on memories of you when their own time comes to be grandparents.