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BellaOnline's Marriage Editor


Reasons Not to Have an Affair

Guest Author - Lori Phillips

Thinking about having an affair? Forget about coming up with reasons to cheat. Anyone can rationalize anything they want to do whether it is right or wrong. Instead, read about ten reasons not to commit adultery to fortify your resolve against temptation:

1. Health risks. Do you know the sexual history of the other person? Even seemingly reputable dating match companies like Ashley Madison Agency who connects only married people seeking affairs cannot screen registered users. No matter how genuine the posted profile may sound, users can post anything they want. Do they lie? They’re married people having affairs. They lie to their significant other. Why would they be concerned about lying to a stranger?

2. Psycho-killers. Didn't you learn anything from “Fatal Attraction?” Your lover could snap. Men and women who engage in affairs with marrieds generally have unresolved emotional issues. Consider yourself forewarned. If you find yourself drawn to illicit relationships, seek counseling to learn why. Then, heal.

3. Danger of falling into an emotional relationship. You may go into a relationship agreeing to keep it physical but sex is bonding. You or your partner runs the risk of having more than sexual feelings for the other, ruining your best intentions and your marriages.

4. Misuse of trust. Having an affair will destroy the trust you’ve worked hard to build throughout the years. Can you imagine the hurt your spouse will feel? Is a fleeting moment of excitement worth that? Some marriages never recover. And face it, you won’t ever fully trust the person who cheated with you because, well, he or she cheated with a married person.

5. Loss of respect. Your character counts. No one thinks highly of a cheating spouse. You’ll earn the reputation of being a selfish liar. Whether among friends, family or professional colleagues, your character become degraded. No one will be able to trust you fully knowing you have the ability to lie to your significant other.

6. Religious consequences. Those who follow religious doctrines that warn against adultery will need to face those eternal consequences. Non-religious people may believe they are not bound to any negative spiritual repercussions, but everyone is held to the universal law of cause and effect, reap and sow, just as they are bound to the law of gravity here on earth. They may not understand or accept this as fact, but a little reflection should convince anyone that “what goes around, comes around."

7. Misdirection of energy. Instead of putting your best energy into an affair, you should direct that into improving your marriage. It will reap far better benefits. An affair never improves a marriage. The reward of rebuilding your marital relationship may not be immediate, but it will be long-lasting. You can recapture the same love and excitement with your spouse.

8. Threat of divorce. Many couples can’t overcome the pain of adultery and end up divorcing. Are you willing to risk losing your spouse, your family and half of all of your assets?

9. Life-altering dilemmas. Some people believe an affair brightens their unhappy lives, but it only takes one unexpected event to alter the course of their futures. A moment of thrill can result in a pregnancy. A jealous tirade could get out of hand. Do you really want to raise the child that isn’t your spouse’s? Can you imagine someone in jail for life? Could it be you? Extreme outcomes happen to ordinary people.

10. Pain. People who cheat always underestimate the long-lasting effects that take a toll on themselves and their spouses. Infidelity inflicts relentless self-reproach, guilt, suspicion, resentment and anger. It will be a burden to carry for life.

11. The collateral damage. When you injure a marriage, you injure all those connected to it: children, parents, in-laws, friends and colleagues.

There are more reasons not to cheat but these are the most obvious. If you decide to commit adultery, be prepared to face some serious and possibly irreversible consequences.

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Content copyright © 2015 by Lori Phillips. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Lori Phillips. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact BellaOnline Administration for details.


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