Guest Author - April Alisa Marquette
Many times we hear people say they are keeping it real. What -- one may ask -- does that mean. For ethnic beauties that should mean we will simply be who we are. The people we were meant to be. We will remain true to our beliefs, thus we will become more of our genuine selves. By doing these things we will no longer allow others to step all over us. We will hold our ground. We will say no, mean it, and stick with it when the need arises. We will also cultivate the relationships that we desire, beginning with ourselves.
In no longer allowing others to step on us, we will realize that we are not doormats. We have wants and desires -- that we would like others to take into account. Often we make money, dress the kids, feed the family, do the laundry, and so much more. Yet we don't say what we want. We don't draw the line. We allow others to decide, for us, what we should or should not do. Well, as of today, in becoming our genuine selves we will stand up for ourselves. We don't have to get loud, we do not have to be mean; we simply have to let others know that we too deserve a little consideration. We will let it be known that our feelings, our wants, our likes and dislikes must also come into play.
In holding our ground we will not give in, again, as so many of us often do. We can, and will, say no, sometimes, and we can stick with that answer. We must realize that it isn't always about 'keeping the peace' if we do not feel peace. As ethnic beauties we no longer want to find ourselves in situations that constantly back us down. We want to remain firm, especially when our inner self, our intuitive being, tells us that we are right. She will not scream it, softly she speaks. We will begin to trust her, to trust ourselves and know that if in the pit of our stomach something feels wrong, then it most likely is. In becoming our genuine selves we will also learn that anything that brings disorder, or a state of mental confusion, is not for us.
We will also cultivate the relationships that we desire, beginning with ourselves. We will see ourselves and others through the eyes of love. Then if people make us uncomfortable, we will reaffirm that we do not have to invite them to the party. They don't get to enter our inner sanctum. They do not have to be on our guest list or in the wedding. We no longer need the approval of everyone around us. We know what brings us joy, what brings us peace. Therefore those things and attributes we will seek, in others as well as in ourselves. If we are involved with people who keep us in turmoil we will find ways to deal with them, even if that means we will speak up, or tone it down. We can also choose silence. It is an option. We don't always have to engage in combat. Simply refuse drama. Disagree, disengage and depart.
In becoming our genuine selves we will find that we'll feel happier, less 'heartache-y' and more fulfilled, because we have gotten off that dratted hampster's wheel -- the one where we are always trying to please. Once we've discarded the I-must-be-everything-to-everyone mindset, we will realize more with each passing day that it truly is pleasant ... to quite simply be!