At one time, I started a homeschooling blog to explore thoughts I'm asked to articulate in radio interviews. A debate started on the blog concerning who counts as a real" homeschooler. Why do moms do this to each other? We have to decide which parents are real Moms, real Mormons, real homeschoolers
The Real Mom debate has been around longer than I've been a mom. It's wandered from topic to topic, and covered working outside the home, breastfeeding vs. bottle-feeding, co-sleeping or crib sleeping, and various other topics we use to divide us. It even covers how many children we have to have to be a "real" Mormon.
Being a Mom is hard. Whatever choices we make for ourselves and our families, we need support, not judgment. Yes, the Church does take a strong stand on some issues related to parenting, but there are always considerations. Leaders state that mothers should be home whenever possible. It's not for us to decide if another mother could be home if she wanted to be. There may be factors we can't see, can't imagine. The church is officially neutral on homeschooling, and says that how a child is educated should be the decision of the parents. Again, we may not be able to see the reasons behind the decisions that are being made, and we don't get to choose. The church doesn't even comment on how children should be fed beyond Word of Wisdom issues, or sleep, or be disciplined outside of spanking and abuse. Each family has free agency and the right to use inspiration in making its choices.
Free agency. Inspiration. Before deciding to pass judgment on another mother's choices, let's keep in mind that we are not entitled to inspiration concerning how another person's child should be raised.
Every parent in the church faces a lot of opposition and persecution from the world. Let's create a safe haven within the Church community where we trust each other to use inspiration in raising our children.
When you're faced with a person who has made choices you wouldn't make for yourself or your family, ask yourself how Jesus would view the person you're thinking about. What might he know that you don't? What loving slant would he give the situation? Then move on, and focus on your own family. I just feel safer doing that, knowing that others are probably judging my own family too, and I want them to accept my choices, so I try to do the same.
The Single Mother's Survival Guide
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