It seems to be a funny situation on sit-coms and in movies when the wife is “turned-off” by the sloppy husband or the husband finds the thought of being with his wife, who has “let herself go,” unbearable. We all laugh even though, deep inside we feel a touch of sadness that such a situation could occur.

But the problems are not just on the viewing screens big and small; they can happen in real life. Sometimes after marriage there is a tendency to become less fastidious, to “let ourselves go” or “become sloppy” in our grooming and attire. And that can spell trouble in the relationship.

We are attracted to the person we marry for many reasons, not the least of which is their appearance. They appeal to our viewing sense.Blue eyes, brown eyes, long hair, short hair, color of hair and complexion; all play a role in what we find attractive about our mate. There is also the matter of the way they are built and the way they take care of themselves. Good grooming is not only essential hygienically but also aesthetically.

My husband fits my idea of handsome to a “T.” He’s tall and lean, light-haired and has the most gorgeous green eyes I’ve ever seen. But the attraction is more than just looks: he’s neat and smells good and that is one of the reasons that I was and am attracted to him.

If we think back to when we were dating, we know that we always tried to look our best for each other. Extra showers, deodorant and fresh breath were all essential. We wanted to show our most attractive self to our potential spouse. After marriage the same rituals should hold true.

Taking care of “you” is not selfish. By spending time on yourself you are showing respect and love for you as well as respect and love for your partner. Wearing something attractive, having your hair neat and clean, taking care of your nails and hands show that you want to present yourself as someone who cares about your appearance.

Attractive is sexy. Looking good and smelling good are pleasant. No one wants to be with someone who doesn’t care how they look. Do you? Not caring about yourself is not respecting yourself.

There certainly times when we will not appear at our best. That’s a given. You really don’t care how you look with a severe head cold or the flu but those times are exceptions. There may be times when you’re totally wiped-out with taking care of your children or aged parents. At times like that, your spouse is more concerned with your well-being than anything else.


Most times we really do like to look good and have our spouse find us attractive, gorgeous, and desirable. As human beings we need this affirmation from our mates.

It takes little effort to “keep up appearances.” Looking good makes you feel good, gives your spouse a little eye candy, and makes them feel good too. Make the effort.

Good grooming goes hand in hand with appeal.


Sacred Jude in my life, miracles abound!!