Do you like your body or are you forever trying to undue what nature gave you in your pursuit of the "so-called" perfect, sexy body? Do you try to change your body to appeal to your spouse, dieting or getting implants to suit what you think he wants? Society, culture, and fashion seem to dictate how we think we should feel, and it is wrong.

Society and culture place a great deal of pressure on women to fit an abnormal ideal of how the female form should look in the attempt to be sexy and appealing to men. Today’s “ideal” seems to be thin, bordering on emaciated, with small hips and unnaturally large breasts.

We see these so-called perfect women in the media. Though some advertisers have tried to incorporate what real women look like into their ad campaigns, there are too many other ads who make the average wife feel as if she will never measure up to “perfection.” Fashion only exacerbates the problem.

More women than men are affected by the need to change their bodies in an effort to be attractive. What women will do today, and have done in the past, to achieve the man-pleasing image that is currently in vogue, is incredible.

A little trip through time is in order.

In Victorian times women wore corsets or “cages” made of whale-bone, that were designed to achieve the perfect figure-a miniscule waist which emphasized breasts and hips. Remember the line in “Gone With the Wind” when Mammy, in lacing up Scarlett"s corset,(so she could achieve her famous size 17” waist), tells her “now hold on, honey, and suck in?” The female body was literally trapped in a mercilessly tight garment in which their flesh was "held in." Women damaged their bodies, and organs, by the constant and painful pressure of these cages. Even pregnant women had no reprieve from the corset and endangered both themselves and their unborn babies by wearing these devices of torture. The marks left by the corset were permanent.

Besides “holding you in,” the corset restricted activity and breathing. No wonder fainting was popular among the “delicate sex” of that era. Just walking from one room to another made you breathless and tired!

The Edwardian age of the early 1900’s still kept a form of the torturous corset, but added a large metal bubble or horsehair pillow, called a bustle to the design. While a woman’s stomach was to be as“flat as a pressing board,”(according to "The Lady's Mirror" of London,circa 1908), the rear was enlarged by means of this bustle.The breasts were still large and made to look larger by the addition of drapes of lace or other fluffy fabric.

But emphasis on breasts and rear had only a few more decades of popularity.

Fast forward to the 1920’s and the feminine ideal was the flapper who was supposed to have no noticeable breasts! Many healthy women with normal curves would bind their “unruly” breasts close to their bodies and dip their hips and bottoms forward into a slouch in an effort to achieve the lean boyish look that was fashionable.

The ’30’s, ‘40’s, and ‘50’s brought back the “fuller” normal figure that most women had. The fashions, unfortunately, had undergarments reminiscent of the corset. Female flesh was now tightly controlled through girdles and long-line bras.”

The ‘60’s? Let’s just say it was a throwback of sorts to the flapper era-Twiggy and starvation. No curves anywhere. Looking like an adolescent boy was the perfect bikini body of that time.

In the decade of the nineties the “lollipop” look was popular. This was an unnaturally thin body with a large head of hair. Some people called it the head on a stick look.

We women like to think, and say, that we’ve gotten really far from following silly fashion and the latest fad diets just to please men. But,if that were the case, then eating disorders wouldn’t be on the rise and weight loss groups would be out of business. It is good to know however that there is now a trend among women, which I hope will last, to attain a healthy body through good eating and some enjoyable form of exercise.

Everyone wants to be sexually appealing to their man. Whether we admit it or not, we want our spouse to consider us drop-dead gorgeous, wildly sexy, can’t-keep-my-hands-off-you attractive. This is human nature.

Torturing yourself is no way to live. If your man is constantly comparing you unfavorably to the “current ideal” of woman then the problem doesn’t lie with you, it lies with him. Don’t change your body to meet his unloving image of what you should be. The only change you may need to make is in your marital status!

A loving spouse wants a healthy,happy person to share his life, not someone who torments themselves through diet and exercise, and constantly laments not achieving "perfection." We all want our spouses to be attractive but that is easily achieved through healthy eating, mild exercise and good grooming. Love your body. Be the best that you can; be YOU!

Sacred Jude, Power and Hope!!