g Text Version
Beauty & Self
Books & Music
Food & Wine
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Crafts
Home & Garden
News & Politics
Religion & Spirituality
Travel & Culture
TV & Movies

Bored? Games!
Take a Quiz
Rate My Photo

Natural Living
Folklore and Mythology
Distance Learning

All times in EST

Full Schedule
g Organization Site

BellaOnline's Organization Editor


Learn How To Say No

The shortest sentence in the English language, is also the most difficult for most of us to say. No. Itís seems so simple, yet itís still such a challenge. But itís a challenge you need to overcome if you want to stay organized, because overcommitting is really self sabotage. Itís behavior that will allow chaos easy entry into your life.

Here are the most common reasons that we donít empower ourselves and say no.

Fear of disappointing others.
Do you have the disease to please? Are you worried you will hurt someone if you say no?

Fear of failure.
Do you equate success with doing more, more and more? If you take on a little less do you worry people will think you have lost your Ďedgeí?

Fear of being judged.
Do you worry people will think you are selfish if you say no? Do you think they will see you as less capable?

Fear of rejection.
Do you worry that people will distance themselves if you decline to do something? Are you afraid your friends will leave you if you say no?

Are any of these familiar? Do you notice a theme? Hint: itís fear. Fear plays a huge role in why we donít say no. We want to please, we want to be of service. But thatís not healthy if it means sacrificing ourselves. FYI - Sacrificing is not noble. Say yes, when you donít have the time, ability or resources is wrong for everyone involved. Itís really a disservice. Resentment will be brewing and stress will be building. Youíll feel it and so will the people you committed to.

So how can you get comfortable saying no? First, you have to be aware that saying yes is probably your default behavior. Second, youíll have to be willing to learn a new skill, because thatís what saying no with ease is, itís a skill.

To get started, begin by making your default response Ďmaybeí. Saying maybe gives you time reflect on whether you can, and want to do, whatís being asked. It gives you a buffer - time to reflect and draft a response that feels right. If needed, you can collect more information to better inform your decision.

Also, know that you donít have to say yes to exactly what is being requested. Suppose you are asked to join a committee. You could counter with an offer to assist with a specific task rather than committing to full membership.

If you decide no is the best answer, remember that you donít have to offer a lengthy explanation; you can simply use the buffered formula. Start with a thank you, then follow with your no. Here are few examples:

  • Thanks for thinking of me, but I canít.
  • I appreciate your asking, but I am already committed.
  • Thatís so thoughtful, but I am not available.
  • That sounds like such fun, but I canít squeeze another thing in.

In any event, whatever your answer, make sure it feels like the right thing to do. Do a gut check. When itís right, you will feel some excitement. If you feel any tension itís a sign you need to rethink your response. The body doesnít lie, let it guide you.

<Recommended Resource
Get your free Clear Clutter and Learn How To Organize E-Course. It takes you through the clutter clearing and organizing process in six simple steps!
Add Learn+How+To+Say+No+ to Twitter Add Learn+How+To+Say+No+ to Facebook Add Learn+How+To+Say+No+ to MySpace Add Learn+How+To+Say+No+ to Digg Learn+How+To+Say+No+ Add Learn+How+To+Say+No+ to Yahoo My Web Add Learn+How+To+Say+No+ to Google Bookmarks Add Learn+How+To+Say+No+ to Stumbleupon Add Learn+How+To+Say+No+ to Reddit

RSS | Related Articles | Editor's Picks Articles | Top Ten Articles | Previous Features | Site Map

For FREE email updates, subscribe to the Organization Newsletter

Past Issues

Printer Friendly
tell friend
Tell a Friend
Email Editor

Content copyright © 2018 by Kelly Jayne McCann. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Kelly Jayne McCann. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Kelly Jayne McCann for details.


g features
How To Declutter Your Mind

Decluttering - The Truth About Your Stuff

Smart Packing Tips

Archives | Site Map


Past Issues

Note: BellaOnline uses cookies to help provide a consistent user experience. Our advertisers may use cookies to help customize ads. Please contact us with any question about our cookie use.

Summertime Foods
Corn on the Cob
Burgers on the Grill
Apple Pie


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2018 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.

BellaOnline Editor