logo
g Text Version
Beauty & Self
Books & Music
Career
Computers
Education
Family
Food & Wine
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Crafts
Home & Garden
Money
News & Politics
Relationships
Religion & Spirituality
Sports
Travel & Culture
TV & Movies

dailyclick
Bored? Games!
Nutrition
Postcards
Take a Quiz
Rate My Photo

new
Creativity
Family Travel
Southwest USA
Irish Culture
Home Finance
Comedy Movies
Romance Novels


dailyclick
All times in EST

Full Schedule
g
g Organization Site

BellaOnline's Organization Editor

g

Learn How To Say No


The shortest sentence in the English language, is also the most difficult for most of us to say. No. Itís seems so simple, yet itís still such a challenge. But itís a challenge you need to overcome if you want to stay organized, because overcommitting is really self sabotage. Itís behavior that will allow chaos easy entry into your life.

Here are the most common reasons that we donít empower ourselves and say no.

Fear of disappointing others.
Do you have the disease to please? Are you worried you will hurt someone if you say no?

Fear of failure.
Do you equate success with doing more, more and more? If you take on a little less do you worry people will think you have lost your Ďedgeí?

Fear of being judged.
Do you worry people will think you are selfish if you say no? Do you think they will see you as less capable?

Fear of rejection.
Do you worry that people will distance themselves if you decline to do something? Are you afraid your friends will leave you if you say no?

Are any of these familiar? Do you notice a theme? Hint: itís fear. Fear plays a huge role in why we donít say no. We want to please, we want to be of service. But thatís not healthy if it means sacrificing ourselves. FYI - Sacrificing is not noble. Say yes, when you donít have the time, ability or resources is wrong for everyone involved. Itís really a disservice. Resentment will be brewing and stress will be building. Youíll feel it and so will the people you committed to.

So how can you get comfortable saying no? First, you have to be aware that saying yes is probably your default behavior. Second, youíll have to be willing to learn a new skill, because thatís what saying no with ease is, itís a skill.

To get started, begin by making your default response Ďmaybeí. Saying maybe gives you time reflect on whether you can, and want to do, whatís being asked. It gives you a buffer - time to reflect and draft a response that feels right. If needed, you can collect more information to better inform your decision.

Also, know that you donít have to say yes to exactly what is being requested. Suppose you are asked to join a committee. You could counter with an offer to assist with a specific task rather than committing to full membership.

If you decide no is the best answer, remember that you donít have to offer a lengthy explanation; you can simply use the buffered formula. Start with a thank you, then follow with your no. Here are few examples:

  • Thanks for thinking of me, but I canít.
  • I appreciate your asking, but I am already committed.
  • Thatís so thoughtful, but I am not available.
  • That sounds like such fun, but I canít squeeze another thing in.

In any event, whatever your answer, make sure it feels like the right thing to do. Do a gut check. When itís right, you will feel some excitement. If you feel any tension itís a sign you need to rethink your response. The body doesnít lie, let it guide you.

**********
<Recommended Resource
Get your free Clear Clutter and Learn How To Organize E-Course. It takes you through the clutter clearing and organizing process in six simple steps!
**********
Add Learn+How+To+Say+No+ to Twitter Add Learn+How+To+Say+No+ to Facebook Add Learn+How+To+Say+No+ to MySpace Add Learn+How+To+Say+No+ to Del.icio.us Digg Learn+How+To+Say+No+ Add Learn+How+To+Say+No+ to Yahoo My Web Add Learn+How+To+Say+No+ to Google Bookmarks Add Learn+How+To+Say+No+ to Stumbleupon Add Learn+How+To+Say+No+ to Reddit




RSS | Related Articles | Editor's Picks Articles | Top Ten Articles | Previous Features | Site Map


For FREE email updates, subscribe to the Organization Newsletter


Past Issues


print
Printer Friendly
bookmark
Bookmark
tell friend
Tell a Friend
forum
Forum
email
Email Editor


Content copyright © 2014 by Kelly Jayne McCann. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Kelly Jayne McCann. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Kelly Jayne McCann for details.

g


g features
How To Declutter Your Mind

Decluttering - The Truth About Your Stuff

Smart Packing Tips

Archives | Site Map

forum
Forum
email
Contact

Past Issues
memberscenter


vote
Poetry
Daily
Weekly
Monthly
Less than Monthly



BellaOnline on Facebook
g


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2014 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.


BellaOnline Editor