Guest Author - Lori Phillips
With marriage comes comfort and that means we don't have to get into full mate attraction mode. However, does that mean we can slip into not taking care of ourselves in health or appearance?
Why looking your best for each others matters
While being able to relax around each other is one of the nicest benefits of marriage, you don’t want to take each other for granted. Why put forth your best efforts in courtesy, grooming, care, and attention for others rather than the one you love the most? I always find it strange that marriage partners are downright rude to each other, lacking the simple courtesy that is offered readily to mere strangers. Is my husband the most important person in my world? Then, why should he get the least of me?
Men are visual creatures, and that is why most of them can’t resist a brief glance at a passing beautiful woman. I am not as young as I used to be, but I can make the most of what I have left. It makes me feel good about myself, and he appreciates the effort, too. Wanting to look your best for each other is about love and caring.
This is not a superficial thing. We love each other as is, and it does not bother us that we’ve gained weight or aged. But I appreciate that he does care about his cleanliness, clothing, and hair care. I love that he asks me to smell the cologne he’s thinking about buying because more than how he likes it, he wants it to appeal to me. How you present yourself at home, in public and to each other reveals a lot about how you value yourself and your marriage.
This man has loved me unconditionally through the years and never nagged me to upgrade my appearance. He always smiles when I walk through the door, and that only makes me want to look good for him all the more.
Cutting your mate some slack
On the other hand, there are husbands who are hyper-critical and they nag at their mates to look better. When I was in the hospital, just having had a c-section, there was a young new mother lying in the bed across the room. She put on her make-up before her husband would get there to see her and their new baby. “Give her a break,” I thought to myself. “She just passed your baby through her loins!” But it was a “pact” they had made when they got married. In case you are one of those men who insist upon your wife keeping up her appearance at all times, please consider the following situations when you should really like to see her in her natural state:
1. Giving birth. What could be more beautiful than your natural woman in the act of bringing forth your child?
2. Housecleaning. Forget the French maid fantasies, okay? Unless you’d like to do the real scrubbing and let her get all dressed up to look good. I’d consider that trade.
3. Illness. 'Nuff said.
4. Exercising. She isn’t producing an exercise video. Let her sweat. She’s getting into shape. Besides, real men love the scent of a woman’s pheromones.
5. Outdoor activities (gardening, camping). The juxtaposition of artificial make-up in the natural world…odd. My insecurity—and not my husband--has made me slap on some mascara when out in the woods on occasion.
6. Sleeping. Prince (or the artist formerly known as Prince or now just the guy whose name is a symbol) reportedly insists that his mate wears full make-up when she sleeps. Doesn’t that seem superficial for him to want to see only the facade of his woman?
7. Aging gracefully. Can you see the beauty in all stages of life?
Excuse me, your character is showing
Other than those situations, it’s good to put more care into your health and appearance. Yes, we should love each other for who we are, but you forget that everything you choose to do in life with this body that was given to you reveals your character. Are you sloppy, unhealthy, neglectful? Uncaring, lazy, demeaning? Or do you make the most of who you are? And never forget that caring for yourself is caring for your spouse.