“That’s right Wendy; we all wear masks, metaphorically speaking.”

Some of you may recognize this quote. For those of you that don’t it is from the insanely funny comedy The Mask starring Jim Carrey. (If you ever just need to laugh – this is one of those movies that will do it).

While this quote is from a comedy, the words actually do have merit. We all wear masks at some point in our lives, and no, I am not talking about Halloween.

Many of you already know that I struggle with Clinical Depression. (If you didn’t before – well, there you go!) Let me tell you a little bit about what happened at my first psychiatrist appointment once I decided I needed a little more help than just “get over it.”

I had already had a full psych evaluation done by a psychologist, he was the one who actually diagnosed me with Depression and referred me to the psychiatrist for treatment. So I met with the doctor and he already had my test results in his hands. (These tests took over 6 hours, by the way – it was not just a quick IQ test). He is skimming over my test results, looks up at me and smiles and says, “So, what is it that caused you to come see me?”

I calmly and politely informed him that the psychologist had diagnosed me with Depression and thought it would help me to come see him. He asked what I thought, and I said I agreed. He then asked me if I thought I did suffer from Depression. I answered that it would definitely explain a lot. I had been having migraines for years, I suffered from severe insomnia and nightmares, and I also had frequent panic attacks in public places – especially my church where it was expected that I interact one-on-one with other people.

Now understand we were having a very civil, academic discussion about my symptoms and what I had been suffering with. He finally laid down all the paperwork and just sat there looking at me for about 2-3 minutes. I tried not to squirm and just smiled at him. He finally said “You have one of the best masks I have ever seen. If I were not sitting here looking at this evaluation from a man that I know is one of the best at diagnosing Depression, then I would never guess that you had a problem at all.” I informed him that I had been brought up by proper Southern women; we weren’t supposed to show our weaknesses in public. He told me that if I wanted to get anywhere with healing, I’d have to show my weaknesses to him.

But he was right, I did have a mask that I always wore – I still do at times. My husband says it is downright scary how quickly I can go from emotional basket-case with him to calm, cool, collected if the doorbell or phone rings, or one of the kids shows up at the bedroom door. It is just like pulling that little Halloween mask over my face – I can even feel it sliding down sometimes. It is cold and smooth.

I’m not the only one who does this by a long stretch. The Blue Man Group performs a song about this very subject in The Complex tour they travel around the states performing. This is from the song Persona.

Every morning, I put it on
I walk outside, and I am gone
And I don't seem to mind anymore
I can't think what it was like before I wore it all the time

Oh, oh, oh

In the evening, I take it off
But there's another one underneath
And I can't seem to find the bottom of the stack
I might just lose my mind and never get it back
But at least I'll get inside

Masks have been used throughout history as a way of disguising or hiding oneself. The original intent of masks is believed to have originated somewhere in Africa where they are used in religious and shamanic ceremonies. Some of these ceremonies are to be more attractive to the benevolent gods, but others are so that the performer will not be seen by malicious gods or evil spirits along the way.

Masks can be found on every continent; from African tribal masks to Eskimo masks made of driftwood and animal skin to the highly detailed Japanese noh masks.

The difference between the physical, ritual masks of old and the emotional, mental masks that we wear today is; the performers always removed their masks and put them away at the end of the ceremony. We keep ours up as a secret barrier all the time, and as the song states, after a while we can’t find where the mask leaves off and we begin anymore. Or worse yet, we forget that we even have a mask on and we live as a shell, never nurturing our souls or letting anyone else in.

Masks are essential at times. They protect us from the hurt that is in this world. We just have to remember that the mask is not who we really are and put it away sometimes.