Guest Author - Krissi Danielsson

Note to readers: Pregnancy and birth are briefly mentioned in this column.

January has come again, and most people are making resolutions for change and plans for what to accomplish in the coming year. Each new year brings inspiration and hope for new things to come. I've found that this is of particular meaning to women who have miscarried.

Even though I'm no longer personally in a point in my life that I'm battling miscarriages and trying to conceive, I still "lurk" on a variety of loss-related message boards including the one I moderate on this site (where I should probably post more). It's common that I'll see women posting resolutions that this will be the year that they finally get pregnant, or at least hopes that the new year will bring new joys and new beginnings.

In the spirit of the season, I wanted to take this opportunity to wish the same to everyone who is reading this site. Amazing things can happen in a year and you can end up in a different place than you expected to be, for better and for worse.

When I started trying to conceive in May of 2001, I never expected that I would be where I was in May of 2002. I quickly conceived upon beginning to try, but then lost my first pregnancy in July of 2001. Then another in October and still another in March of 2002. I never expected I would still be trying to conceive a year later back in that May when we first chucked the birth control pills.

When I sat in May 2002 looking back on my past year of trying to conceive, my prospects were a lot dimmer. I had started to fear that I would never have a baby. I worried that May 2003 would roll around and I'd still be taking Basal Body Temperatures and buying dozens of cheap pregnancy tests so that I could start testing four days before my period was due every month. But then a lot happened in the coming year after that, and by May 2003 I was holding my baby and again in a very different place than I had expected the previous year.

Now, I'm guessing that if you're reading this site (and particularly this article), it's because you've suffered a loss and it still hurts. It might hurt so much that it is dominating your life, or it might have faded to a dull ache that's never far from your mind but easier to handle than it used to be. Or it might be somewhere in between. Wherever you are in your journey, please keep this in mind as the new year starts. A lot can happen in a year and you never know where you will end up. And to all readers who are seeking to build their families, may this be the year that it happens for you.