In the neighborhood of my childhood, there was a man who was very well-liked and friendly to all he met. He was never too busy to stop and chat with his neighbors.

He never worked very much, going from one meaningless job to the other and he always had a reason why each job didn’t work out for him. However, he always dressed well and had money to treat friends to lunch or dinner.

His wife worked long hours at the local supermarket, including overtime and, on holidays, double overtime. They had two daughters and I was friends with the youngest one.

Even though I was only nine years old, I noticed something about his wife. She never looked anyone in the eye, always looking down at her hands, and she shook when her husband came in the door. She walked behind him at all times and I never saw her accompany him to his favorite restaurants or anywhere where she might have to dress up. Once, when I came to their house after school, I saw her hand him her paycheck.

What I didn’t know then was that she was an abused wife, physically and emotionally. She also was a vertible prisoner of her husband. He controlled everything about her day, including how long it took her to get to and from work. If she was even a few minutes past the time she told him she would be home, she was greeted with a slap upon entering the house. And that was if he was in a good mood; if he wasn't, one slap would turn into many.

He kept her from her friends and even her family. Once a month he would allow her to call her parents who lived in another state.While she was on the phone, he would sit and watch her like a hawk watches prey, listening to every word she said. He made her life a living, hellish prison.

Years later I heard she had finally gotten out of her prsion; she had to die to do it.

Friends and family may not know for sure if a person is being abused even if they suspect it. An abuser knows exactly what to do to their spouse to to keep them under control. Many abusers using demeaning words and profanity, along with physical violence, to cow their victim-spouse.

Because of the abuse, the victim becomes fragmented and unable to make simple decisions. Their job and social life suffers. Shut off from everyone else in the world, some contemplate suicide to escape the abuse.

There is help for abused women. BellaOnline.com has excellent resources and help on the Domestic Violence site, written by Jeannette Norman.(see the link at the bottom of this article) She knows firsthand about physical and emotional abuse. Her articles are straight-forward and practical.

I do not believe that a marriage where physical abuse has taken place can be saved. That is only my opinion, but I could never trust a man who says he loves me and then beats the hell out of me. Women, and there are too many in this situation, even in 2006, need to know they are not responsible for the abuse, that their lives are worthwhile, and that they must get out of the relationship immediately. Even one time of physical abuse is one time too many.






Sacred Jude in My Life, Miracles Abound!!