Have you noticed that our Young Men seem to be disheveled; as if they have crawled out of bed, Sunday clothes and all, mere moments before blessing the Sacrament? While this is an emotional and highly debatable topic to take on with most teens, it can have a dramatic impact upon one’s personal self-image and outward appearance. How will you ever come out alive? Simply put - Prayer, and a few well planted seeds for thought. Here are a some more tips that you might want to use either at home or in church to get those fine boys to be proud of their appearances.
Editor's note:
The highly sensitive nature of this subject necessitates kindness, compassion, and loving direction from the leader and/or parent. The following suggestions are meant to be used to facilitate an open and honest group discussion or as a private conversation between parent and child.
Materials:
- Full-length mirror and combs* available.
- Come to class dressed in shorts, t-shirt and sandals. Eventually, someone is going to ask why you are dressed in that manner. This can lead to a discussion about what can happen when someone does not uphold church standards.
- Sloppy people and neat people photos.
- An iron and ironing board or towel.
Discussion:
- Self-image – what is it? Self-image is more complex than how you feel about yourself.
- Visual Self Image: What you see when you look at yourself in the mirror.
- Mental Self Image: What you say to yourself about your appearance.
- Emotional Self Image: How you feel about yourself.
- Social Self Image: How you view your appearance in comparison to your peers (at school and at church).
- Discuss with your son (or the Young Men in your class) what the current clothing trend is at their school(s).
- Show neat vs. sloppy people photos; compare and contrast each set.
- What do they think about a carelessly dressed person vs. someone who takes great care in their appearance?
- Physical appearance speaks volumes about a person. It is a form of non-verbal communication. Your physical appearance can make people enjoy being around you or it can make people avoid you like the bubonic plague! Present yourself in a way that exudes confidence and instigates admiration from others.
- “A let-down in personal appearance has far more than physical significance, for when ugliness gets its roots into one part of our lives it may soon spread to every other part.” (The Quest for Excellence, Bookcraft, p. 38.)
- Create a safe environment for open communication, as this may be the breaking point. Ask if the person who does not care about his or her appearance might bring on unwanted solicitation (such as drugs). Why or why not?
- Ask your son to evaluate his own appearance. Does he dress to impress his peers, or does his dress emulate those whom he respects?
- Now have him evaluate his Sunday appearance. Does his appearance exude confidence and win respect; or does it show indifference and possibly defiance?
- The goal here is to impress upon the boy(s) that their dress shouldn't always consist of "expressing themselves", rather their dress should reflect on reaching a higher goal and of "being more."
- You could end your discussion with a lesson on hair combing and ironing.
While these conversation starters may not cause an immediate change in appearance, you will most definitely plant the seed that he will likely draw upon one day in the future.
