logo
g Text Version
Beauty & Self
Books & Music
Career
Computers
Education
Family
Food & Wine
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Crafts
Home & Garden
Money
News & Politics
Relationships
Religion & Spirituality
Sports
Travel & Culture
TV & Movies

dailyclick
Bored? Games!
Nutrition
Postcards
Take a Quiz
Rate My Photo

new
European Travel
Action Movies
Bible Basics
Houseplants
Romance Movies
Creativity
Family Travel


dailyclick
All times in EST

Clairvoyance: 08:00 PM

Full Schedule
g
g Miscarriage Site

BellaOnline's Miscarriage Editor

g

Miscarriage and Relationship Strain


Studies are mixed on the way the death of a child affects a marriage. Early studies showed an 80-90% divorce rate among couples after losing a child. More recent studies suggest that the rate may be the same as the general population or lower. It seems unclear whether miscarriages were included in these studies at any rate. Regardless of what studies may or may not show regarding divorce rates, there's no doubt that having a miscarriage, certainly can put a strain on a relationship. So how can you cope?

First of all, understand that you may be grieving differently than your partner. No two people are going to experience grief in the same way. Add to that the fact that there are often differences in the way men and women grieve and you could have a recipe for disaster. You have to recognize that there's no right or wrong way to be sad. My friend Heather is upset to this day about something a relative did at my daughter's funeral but I keep telling her “look, you can't flunk grieving.” Just because someone else approaches it differently doesn't mean they're wrong.

Don't assume your partner knows what you need. As women, we're especially vulnerable to falling into this trap. We tend to be intuitive about caregiving and are honestly surprised when the men in our lives aren't. How many times have you heard a woman say “Well, if he loved me, he'd just know.” But guys generally don't work that way. Often they don't see a point in talking about a problem they can't solve. However, if you say “Hey, I need to talk about this” or “I just need you to listen” or “I just need a hug” chances are you'll have a better chance of getting the support you need.

Check your timing. This is important in any relationship but can be particularly important if you're under emotional stress. Let me give you an example. Several years ago my husband and I started a discussion about what needed to be done around the house. It started out as a simple logistics discussion. Unfortunately, we were both exhausted and stressed and I was hormonal to boot. It evolved into a big fight about which of us got to see their friends more often. It was really stupid. So while a miscarriage may mean you have to have some serious discussions, don't decide to have them when you're hungry or coming down with the flu or the toilet is backed up.

Relationships aren't easy under the best of circumstances. They're a lot of hard work and the strain of a miscarriage can make it seem even harder. Still, if you take care to nurture your relationship even when you're hurting you can survive.
Add Miscarriage+and+Relationship+Strain to Twitter Add Miscarriage+and+Relationship+Strain to Facebook Add Miscarriage+and+Relationship+Strain to MySpace Add Miscarriage+and+Relationship+Strain to Del.icio.us Digg Miscarriage+and+Relationship+Strain Add Miscarriage+and+Relationship+Strain to Yahoo My Web Add Miscarriage+and+Relationship+Strain to Google Bookmarks Add Miscarriage+and+Relationship+Strain to Stumbleupon Add Miscarriage+and+Relationship+Strain to Reddit




RSS | Related Articles | Editor's Picks Articles | Top Ten Articles | Previous Features | Site Map


For FREE email updates, subscribe to the Miscarriage Newsletter


Past Issues


print
Printer Friendly
bookmark
Bookmark
tell friend
Tell a Friend
forum
Forum
email
Email Editor


Content copyright © 2014 by Christine Beauchaine. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Christine Beauchaine. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Christine Beauchaine for details.

g


g features
Public Perception of Miscarriage

Miscarriage and Mental Health

What To Say After Miscarriage

Archives | Site Map

forum
Forum
email
Contact

Past Issues
memberscenter


vote
Poetry
Daily
Weekly
Monthly
Less than Monthly



BellaOnline on Facebook
g


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2014 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.


BellaOnline Editor