Guest Author - Krissi Danielsson

I'm guessing that most of the readers of this site are women who have experienced pregnancy loss themselves, but in case I have any readers lurking who are trying to learn how to support a friend or loved one, I wanted to offer some ideas for Christmas gifts that might help someone who love get through her pregnancy loss.

These are drawn from personal observations and also from suggestions I've received in interviews over the years.

A lucky bamboo: This is one that I received personally after my third loss. It was a bamboo plant in a special gift vase with simple wishes for good luck and short explanation of how the plant was traditionally believed to bring better luck. I am not terribly superstitious but the gift meant a lot to me at the time.

Flowers: Most women appreciate flowers, and women who have miscarried are no exception. Living flowers may be better than cut flowers, in many cases. Flowers let your loved one know that you are thinking of her and have acknowledged what she's going through, and if you don't know what to say, flowers sometimes speak for themselves.

Jewelry: Numerous online retailers provide pregnancy loss memorial jewelry, such as special necklaces, bracelets, or pendants. Many women in a recent survey I conducted reported these items as being very much appreciated gifts after their losses. A few retailers to try are LaBelleDame and the Remembering Our Babies Memorial Keepsake Boutique.

Grief support books: Depending on your loved one's preferences, the best type of gift books might not be prescriptive medical books (particularly if she's had a single loss and not recurrent miscarriages) but books of personal writings and experiences from others who have experienced pregnancy loss. I've reviewed a few of these books on this site, such as Holding on to Faith and Our Stories of Miscarriage.

Chocolate: Nearly all women like chocolate, which is an amazing mood booster in many cases.

Being there: This is perhaps the most important of all. It will mean the world to your loved one if you make her know that you're here for her and willing to listen to her if she needs to talk. Let her talk about her baby and bring her tissues if she needs to cry. Sometimes friends and loved ones don't realize that we need to talk, assuming that talking about the loss would make us more unhappy, and that allowing us to talk is sometimes the greatest gift we could receive.