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BellaOnline's Adoption Editor

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More Common Adoption Myths

Guest Author - Karen Ledbetter

Which of these myths do you believe?

Myth: All birth parents are bad people. Some birth parents, especially of children from state foster care systems, do have social issues and/or problems that prevent them from providing acceptable parenting to their children. However, the majority of birth parents are law-abiding citizens who contribute to society.

Myth: Adoptees should be grateful to their adoptive parents. Why should a child who joined his/her family by adoption be any more grateful to his/her parents than a child who was born to them?

Myth: Adopted children are not your own. Excuse me, I have legal papers that say my child is my own.

Myth: Asian children are math/science geniuses. Can you imagine the pressure this myth puts on a child in the classroom?

Myth: All birth mothers are teenagers. Not always true. Ours was not. And what difference does a birth motherís age make anyway?

Myth: Adult adoptees that choose to search for their birth families are disloyal to their adoptive families. Not! More likely, they are simply curious about their birth families.

Myth: Adult adoptees that choose not to search have issues. Not! For some reason, these individuals simply do not have the curiosity that searchers have.

Myth: Only birth parents are real. All the adoptive moms I know agree that real parents not only experience labor and delivery. They provide the mundane, day-to-day needs of a child, including housing, clothing, food, medical care, and so on. All parents eat, sleep, breathe, and so on, whether adoptive or biological.

Myth: Adopted children are not your real children. My teenager eats, sleeps, breathes, goes to school, plays ball, swims, rides horses, and so on. If that is not real, I have no clue what is!

Myth: Adoptive parents should not become frustrated with their children. Well, as the parent of a teen, itís next to impossible not to become frustrated and even angry at times. Does that mean I love my child any less than if we were biologically connected? Absolutely not! Remember, all kids will push limits at some time in their lives.

Myth: Adoption is baby buying. Not if itís done legally.

Myth: Only the wealthy can adopt. This is definitely not true in our case. We are far from wealthy, monetarily speaking.

Myth: Single people cannot adopt. While some adoption professionals will not work with single adoptive parents, others will.

Myth: Same-sex couples cannot adopt. True, some adoption professionals will not work with same-sex couples; but others will.

Myth: A birth parent will forget about the baby/child placed for adoption. Never!

Myth: A birth parent will know nothing about the baby/child and his/her adoptive family. Only if she chooses a completely closed adoption with no contact.

Hopefully, I have brought to light some of the more common myths and misconceptions surrounding adoption. If you have experienced others, feel free to drop me an e-mail.


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Content copyright © 2013 by Karen Ledbetter. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Karen Ledbetter. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Deanna Kahler for details.

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