Guest Author - Karen Ledbetter
Which of these myths do you believe?
Myth: All birth parents are bad people. Some birth parents, especially of children from state foster care systems, do have social issues and/or problems that prevent them from providing acceptable parenting to their children. However, the majority of birth parents are law-abiding citizens who contribute to society.
Myth: Adoptees should be grateful to their adoptive parents. Why should a child who joined his/her family by adoption be any more grateful to his/her parents than a child who was born to them?
Myth: Adopted children are not your own. Excuse me, I have legal papers that say my child is my own.
Myth: Asian children are math/science geniuses. Can you imagine the pressure this myth puts on a child in the classroom?
Myth: All birth mothers are teenagers. Not always true. Ours was not. And what difference does a birth motherís age make anyway?
Myth: Adult adoptees that choose to search for their birth families are disloyal to their adoptive families. Not! More likely, they are simply curious about their birth families.
Myth: Adult adoptees that choose not to search have issues. Not! For some reason, these individuals simply do not have the curiosity that searchers have.
Myth: Only birth parents are real. All the adoptive moms I know agree that real parents not only experience labor and delivery. They provide the mundane, day-to-day needs of a child, including housing, clothing, food, medical care, and so on. All parents eat, sleep, breathe, and so on, whether adoptive or biological.
Myth: Adopted children are not your real children. My teenager eats, sleeps, breathes, goes to school, plays ball, swims, rides horses, and so on. If that is not real, I have no clue what is!
Myth: Adoptive parents should not become frustrated with their children. Well, as the parent of a teen, itís next to impossible not to become frustrated and even angry at times. Does that mean I love my child any less than if we were biologically connected? Absolutely not! Remember, all kids will push limits at some time in their lives.
Myth: Adoption is baby buying. Not if itís done legally.
Myth: Only the wealthy can adopt. This is definitely not true in our case. We are far from wealthy, monetarily speaking.
Myth: Single people cannot adopt. While some adoption professionals will not work with single adoptive parents, others will.
Myth: Same-sex couples cannot adopt. True, some adoption professionals will not work with same-sex couples; but others will.
Myth: A birth parent will forget about the baby/child placed for adoption. Never!
Myth: A birth parent will know nothing about the baby/child and his/her adoptive family. Only if she chooses a completely closed adoption with no contact.
Hopefully, I have brought to light some of the more common myths and misconceptions surrounding adoption. If you have experienced others, feel free to drop me an e-mail.