At a recent relationship seminar I broached this question to the couples present.

If you were your spouse, ‘Would You Like to Come Home to You?’

It was a question that had an immediate impact on my audience. Simple as it was, it was food for thought.

A little like asking yourself to walk in the shoes of another person before making a judgment call about them; it makes you stop and think.

Certainly there are times when we are such an unpleasant person that we don’t even want to be with ourselves! Granted there are also days when our spouse is in a mood and we want to avoid being with him.

The best thing we can do is think about how we want our “significant other” to see us. If the only image is that of an unhappy and complaining person, you have a problem. Living with a chronically miserable person is contagious. Even the best humored person in the world is affected by negativity and can “catch” the negative bug.

While life will never be perfect and we will all have good and bad days, there are some things we can do to make us “nice to come home to.” Dealing with the aggravations of the workplace is in no small part responsible for our moods.
The best thing you can do is to mentally “check your workday at the exit door,” the same way you check luggage at an airport. This works for stay at home parents too. Have a point of departure where you leave the day behind. Give yourself one hour to unwind before the evening begins.

If you commute from work, play music on your way home. Listen to songs that have a relaxing effect on you.

Use your imagination. Think of happy things you plan to do in the near future; a vacation, visiting a friend, going out for dinner next weekend. Give yourself an image of something positive to which you can look forward.

Greet each other the same way you would a friend who came to your house. Be nice.

Make it an unbreakable rule that you will have only pleasant things to talk about during a meal. Don’t make a bad day your dinner table conversation.

If you absolutely feel a need to talk about something that’s upset you, plan it for after dinner and limit the time to thirty minutes. After a long day, thirty minutes is about all you have to give.

Unless it is an absolute crisis, never, repeatnever, discuss a major problem after 8:00 pm. Save that for a time when you are both less frazzled.

Take time for yourself. A little self pampering goes a long way.

Make your home a safe haven from the stresses of the outside world.

Sacred Jude in My Life, Miracles Abound!!