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BellaOnline's Marriage Editor


Why Husbands Leave Their Wives

Guest Author - Lori Phillips

There seems to be countless reasons why husbands leave their wives, but if you look closer, you’ll find that they all have one factor in common which is the true reason why any man leaves a woman. The surface symptoms may include infractions from infidelity and addiction to boredom and irreconcilable differences, but the true underlying reason is simple.

A husband leaves his wife because of how he feels about himself when he is with her. This does not mean that blame rests with her. It means that how he feels about himself when he is with her, whether those feelings are caused by her or by his own issues, determines the level of satisfaction with his marriage.

When he is with you, does he feel…
• significant?
• loved?
• respected?
• youthful and vibrant?
• sexy and desired?
• intelligent?
• useful and needed?
• virile and powerful?
• hopeful and positive?
• in control of his own life and future?
• free and liberated?
• as though he has a trusted, equal partner/side kick in you?
• generally good about himself when he is with you?

Or does he feel...
• unimportant?
• unloved?
• that he lacks respect from you or others?
• old, worn and decaying?
• unsexy and undesirable?
• stupid, ineffective or unnecessary?
• impotent and powerless?
• hopeless and pessimistic?
• as though he has no control in his life or his future?
• limited, suffocated or burdened?
• afraid or threatened?
• as though you and he are not on the same team?
• generally feels negative about himself when he is with you?

When a man feels negatively about himself, he subconsciously will seek out situations that make him feel good again. Men will resort to divorce, affairs, doing something out of character or starting over to reclaim feel-good feelings.

This does not mean that wives cause their husbands to leave. Many men have their own issues with self-respect and self-esteem that cause them to leave or repel a good woman. Leaving is always a free will choice that a man makes. But he makes it because he does not like the man he is when he is in his marital relationship.

Importance of being in tune with each other
If you and your spouse don’t have heart-to-heart talks, it’s time to start. Ask each other: Are we generally satisfied with how our lives are going? What do we want to experience before we pass from this earth? What are things that make us feel joyful? Is there anything that we can do for each other that would increase our happiness? Is he living his life the way he wanted to?

How does being married to you make him feel? How does it make you feel? If anything negative comes up, fix it, learn from it, and move on. If you find that either or both of you have changed over the years, in a negative way, change back. Reclaim your power over your life. Take each other by the hand, like two young lovers, and venture forth into a new, exciting adventure. So, if he leaves his current state of being, he’ll take you with him because he feels good about who he is when you are by his side.
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Content copyright © 2015 by Lori Phillips. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Lori Phillips. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact BellaOnline Administration for details.


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