Guest Author - Sadiyya Patel
Unhappily married people often fall prey to the myth that ending their marriage would make them happier. This is often not the case.
Chances are that you’ve attributed the failure of the marriage to your spouse, and forgotten that you also play a role in the failure of the marriage. Blaming the other partner (instead of accepting at least part of the responsibility for the failure of the marriage) can becomes your sole focus and provides a convenient excuse for divorce.
By failing to accept your own part in the marital problems they are now experiencing, and failing to realize that perhaps you’ve entered the marriage with unreasonable demands and unrealistic expectations, you may be unconsciously contributing to the forces leading to a potential separation.
Add to that the fact that most of us have very short memories. For some reason, you and you partner who vowed to support each other during your time of wedded bliss have forgotten your commitment and vows to love each other through thick and thin.
Our modern society has indeed become a disposable society. This is what Alvin Toffler had predicted almost two decades ago. This state of “disposableness” is reflected in our ability to DELETE and PURGE and SHRED what we no longer want or need.
And so when your once beloved partner is no longer of use to you, you call our lawyer and instruct him/her to initiate divorce proceedings.
Funny, but despite its harrowing and complex web, divorce has also become just a phone call away, a “to go” solution that we can pick up on the way to cleaner’s. Sad, but true.
The truth is, divorce has a dark and really ugly, painful side to it.
While it may not always be the case, divorce often becomes the “easy way out” for people who don’t have the courage to salvage what deserves to be salvaged.
Divorce un-builds and undoes what took years to nurture. Often the only people who benefit from it are greedy divorce lawyers who will use every trick in the book to divest the other of assets, until no remnant of the person’s investment – physical, monetary and emotional – remains.
While divorcing couples spend their mental energies accusing the other of causing hurt and disharmony in the union, they forget that the children are suffering even more than they are .
While you’re embroiled in marital conflict you may forget that children are more fragile and harder to mend from an emotionally shattering experience of divorce. This is when the concept of human selfishness and self-centredness become transparent. It’s odd how the true character of people comes out when they’re the “actors” in a divorce saga.
The determination not to be swayed by the highs and lows of a relationship shows strength of character and integrity, not to mention the ability to see beyond one’s personal unhappiness to the well-being of those we love most. And by saving the marriage, more than person is spared great emotional trauma and pain.
This is the essence of this e-course and I hope that by reading and working through it you will do what it takes to save your marriage.