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How to answer difficult questions

Newlyweds often get asked when they will start a family. It's right in line with the question people ask couples who have dated a long time--"When are you getting married?"

I have asked close friends when they were going to have kids, but I've never asked co-workers or acquaintances I didn't know well. It's a very personal question, and too many people just don't seem to realize that.

When someone you don't know very well asks you that, they may not realize that they're asking about your sex life! Everybody knows that couples trying to have children do the bedroom boogie frequently. You don't need your co-workers imagining you in your bedroom.

If it's something a couple is working on and not succeeding, it is a frustrating question. And potentially even hurtful to be asked.

It puts you in an awkward situation when you're asked and don't want to answer. You risk appearing rude by saying, "It's none of your business," even though it is none of their business!

What can you say, then? Well, a great answer is always, "That's in God's hands." That usually shuts people up.

However, there will be some people who pursue this line of questioning anyway. The next question they ask is, "Sure, but are you trying? God can't do it all!" A good answer to that is just to smile and say nothing. You can even add a wink.

If it's someone you don't know very well, you can be a little bit shocked at the question. You can say, "Wow, is that a personal question!" They usually back off and say, "Oh, I didn't mean anything by it." You can just be silent and let them change the subject.

The tough one is when it happens from a relative or in church, both situations where you have to be more diplomatic. Definitely in church you can say, "Whatever is God's will. We will take what He gives us." With family, you can say, "Oh, whatever happens, happens."

If a child asks you, that's when their parents should step in and tell them not to ask that. If they don't--some parents, unfortunately, think it's okay for children to say anything--you should say to the child, "There are some things you should never ask someone." Then just look them straight in the eyes and be very serious. If they try to say more, just keep repeating that answer.

I know it can be a very tough question to get asked. You may even have to excuse yourself and retreat to the bathroom.

Don't ever feel like you have to tell anybody, even friends, much information. That's between you and your partner. Besides, once you are pregnant, the next question is, "Are you having a boy or a girl?"
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Content copyright © 2014 by Stacy Wiegman. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Stacy Wiegman. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Stacy Wiegman for details.


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