Guest Author - Stephanie Cummings

Making the decision to have a baby should be the hardest part of trying to conceive. Actually making the baby should be the fun part. But for tens of thousands of couples each year, the act of conception becomes a painful and difficult task. If you are one of these couples faced with infertility, the question of “Is it time to see a doctor?” may be wearing heavy on your mind.

Many women choose to do their own research by asking friends and family or reading up on the best ways to get pregnant (Hello Bella’s Conception site—wink wink.) But if you are really having trouble getting pregnant, this may confuse you more. Self-diagnosing yourself with infertility after reading some websites is impossible to do. So, here is what you really need to know.

The first thing you should know is that if you are a healthy woman between the ages of eighteen and thirty-five and you have been trying for less than a year, there are very few doctors that will get very excited about your inability to conceive and tell you to keep trying. However, if you fall into this category, but are still worried, it may be worth making appointment to speak to your regular healthcare professional or gynecologist about your concerns. Your doctor may be able to help you understand your body and menstrual cycle better and talk to you about things you can do to increase your chances of conceiving naturally.

On the other hand, if you are over thirty-five, have irregular or absent menses, have any medical conditions (especially those that may affect your menses or female genitalia—like sexually transmitted diseases), have been trying naturally for over twelve months, had multiple miscarriages, a history of ectopic pregnancy, a first degree family history (mother or sister) of infertility or use tobacco, alcohol, or large amounts of caffeine—then it might be time to talk to your doctor. All of these factors can contribute to infertility and though some may be in your power to change, like drug and alcohol use, many are not and medical attention may be necessary to help you get pregnant.

It is usually suggested that you bring up your concerns with your general practitioner or gynecologist first. If this doctor feels that there may very well be a problem that might be affecting your ability to conceive a child, they could possibly refer you to a Reproductive Endocrinologist (otherwise known as a Fertility Specialist.)

Depending on your own special circumstances, you can expect a battery of test to be run that may include blood tests, ultrasounds or sonograms, semen analysis and sperm count, or even outpatient procedures to determine the cause of your infertility.

Once the cause of your infertility is determined, your doctor will either make suggestions of treatment plans or tell you to continue trying naturally. Second opinions are always suggested and you may want to speak to several doctors about it before making the decision to go forward with infertility treatment.

Infertility is a very real and widespread disorder than can affect anyone, even you. There are so many factors and reasons for infertility that it’s a wonder anybody gets pregnant on their own. Infertility is not a shameful or embarrassing problem. It is a medical condition. If there was something wrong with your heart, then you would go to the doctor and you wouldn’t be self-conscious about your problem. Infertility should be no different.

If you are one of those tens of thousands of people that simply cannot get pregnant by naturally trying to conceive, going to a fertility specialist (or any doctor for that matter) is not an embarrassing thing to do. There is no stigma that you will be labeled with by seeking medical help to conceive. You and your partner may feel more comfortable by keeping your quest for parenthood a secret by not telling friends and family and this is okay, but do not avoid talking to a doctor because you think that you will be labeled barren and made a fool of.

Make sure that you have done your homework. Know your symptoms, dates of menses, how long you’ve been trying without success and all other important facts that the doctor will need to know.

Choose a doctor that you are comfortable with and trust. You will be talking about sensitive topics and may undergo some uncomfortable tests and treatments. Don’t be afraid to ask the doctor questions and make sure that you understand what is being said (if not—ask more questions.)

This can be a magical time in yours and your partner’s life. Having a baby is a huge, life changing, wonderful and natural thing to do (even if your baby isn’t conceived “naturally”.)