Guest Author - Erika Krull

First born children are automatically thought to have a privileged spot in the family. For a while, they get the undivided attention of their parents and get to do everything first. Many a younger sibling has thought it completely unfair that the oldest child got to stay up later, drive first, get a bigger allowance, have a bigger birthday party, and so on. More than half the US presidents have been first born children. First borns also attend Yale and Harvard in greater numbers than middle or younger born children. Recent research has even suggested that first born children end up being smarter than the other kids in the family! You can see how their younger siblings might hold a grudge.

Many people are very curious about the various birth order personalities. Alfred Adler’s traditional ideas about birth order were from the 1930’s. Most experts agree that personalities are influenced by many different things. However, the more modern concept of psychological birth order may keep these traditional ideas connected with today’s culture. Rather than looking exclusively at the first born child in your family, take a look at each child individually. You may find that these traits fit one of your younger children better. You might even be surprised to find that you have more than one first born personality in your house!

First born children are typically described as being very mindful of responsibility and authority. They are all about knowing the rules, following the rules, telling others about the rules, and making sure everyone knows when someone is breaking the rules. They are often seen as perfectionist, less flexible because of their comfort with structure and order. First borns are seen as identifying more strongly with adults than their younger siblings do. Because of this, first borns may sometimes assume more authority over others than they really have.

As siblings are added to the family, first borns may have bittersweet feelings. On the downside, they now have to share attention and energy from the parents. On the positive side, they can feel special by becoming the captain of the sibling crew. They often turn into a built-in babysitter and watchdog over the younger siblings. Because of this, first born children are often experienced in guiding and mentoring others. This “tutor effect” gives them the natural edge in leadership as they mature. First born children tend to be the pioneers among the sibling group, very focused on achievement and completion of goals. Their career goals are often high and involve and ambitious level of education.

Experts debate whether siblings can share aspects of birth order personalities. However, it can still be helpful to see who occupies this general personality role in your family. And while you are thinking about it, how do your actions and attitudes affect your “first born personality” child? Do you give them special responsibilities? Do you steer them towards especially ambitious educational interests? Keep in mind that this may not be the oldest child in your family.

You can relax, there is no right or wrong answer to these questions. No matter who has this personality in your family, you can understand what makes them special and help them shine.