Guest Author - Terrie Lynn Bittner

Our New Year's Resolutions, started so bravely a few months ago, are in shambles. Diets fell apart after the first Valentine's Day chocolate. Exercise fizzled with the snow storm. The novel you vowed to write is on hold until your children grow up. Now what?

One of the problems with making resolutions at the start of the year is that we are so filled with motivation and excitement that we get carried away. We set impossible goals, we choose too many of them, and we don’t carefully plan to succeed. So, by February we are back to our old lives. However, just because a goal didn't go quite the way you planned doesn't mean you have to toss it away. It just means you need to rethink how you set your goals and what you really want to accomplish.

First, prioritize. You really are not very likely to keep 37 goals made all at once. You are likely to keep two goals. But what about the other 35? Keep them on your list and start them later. When your first two goals are accomplished or are far enough along that they aren't challenging you too much, add one more. It may take you a long time to get to all 37 goals, but you will have completed all of them or you will have decided you didn't really need them anyway.

Consider the purpose of your goals. Is this a goal you have really set for yourself or are you following the path of others? Are you dieting because you want to diet, or because the rest of the ward is and you don't want to be left behind? Are you getting organized because you are ready to organize, or are you responding to some outside pressure? The goals you truly want to achieve are the ones you have the best chance of accomplishing.

You need a plan for this goal to work and you need the plan to be realistic. Don't word your goal in such a way you set yourself up to fail. If you write, "I will never eat chocolate again," you will almost certainly fail. Then you will have an excuse to give up your goal. "Oh well, I had chocolate at the party tonight, so I might as well keep eating it." A better goal would be, "I will try to limit my chocolate to one candy bar a week." Word your goals so you are committing to make a true effort or to show that you intend to make progress:
I will walk three mornings a week and if I miss a day, I will make it up the next week.
I will read my scriptures after breakfast. If I miss some days, I will pick up where I left off.
I will start writing a novel. I will write at least 15 minutes a week four days a week if at all possible.
I will practice controlling my temper. I know I won't be perfect, but I'll improve.

Each of these goals allows for imperfection. You can skip an entire week and pick it back up the next. The novel writing takes fifteen minutes a day and most moms can find that much time four days a week. Although it takes a long time to write a book that way, most days, moms will keep writing once they get started, and eventually, a novel will emerge. This method keeps you from feeling overwhelmed by the goal but keeps you moving toward it, even if the steps are small.