Guest Author - Cheryl Lewis

Every year I hear about at least one child in our circle of acquaintances who has a sudden attitude change about school. Ironically most parents don't spot this as a possible cause for concern right off the bat. Most of the time, it's attributed to a "phase". As a mother who has experienced this first-hand my word to you is forget the idea of it being a "phase" and pay attention. Your mommy-radar needs to be on full alert.

Since we're talking about Early Childhood, we're talking about kids in Kindergarten through third grade. These are the early years of school and like the early years of life, they will help mold the personality. That personality may be of the school career instead of the young person, but it could also greatly effect the attitude of the young person.

If a child learns to hate school, for whatever reason, in the first few years of elementary, they may likely hate it forever. Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not talking about seperation anxiety at any degree. I've been there and done that with seperation anxiety at its very worst. I'm here to tell you the children with the worst of the worst case of seperation anxiety still grow up to be teenagers who would rather chew nails than hang out with mommy or daddy.

I'm talking about a young child who seems to be enjoying school and wants to go, but then has a sudden about-face. Suddenly there are more excuses to not go to school than stars in the sky. There may be real anxiety attacks, temper tantrums, etc. You begin hearing the "I hate school!" statement on a very regular basis. There might be an onset of nightmares or a resistance to going to bed that wasn't there before. You might start seeing work that comes home incomplete or handwriting so awful it looks like a bunch of scribbles. There may even be a sudden bed wetting problem or a complete loss of appetite.

Parents may be thinking, "my kid does that (...thing) all the time". That's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking specifically about the kid who suddenly has a problem and the problem doesn't correct iftself within a day or two. I'm talking about a child who is miserable and looking for help on more than a day or two basis. We all have bad days or even a bad week but for our children that can seem overwhelming. They are counting on us to recognize the problem and help them.

The first place to start is with your child and his/her level. Get into a position where the atmosphere is calm and gently talk to your child. I always started with "honey is everything ok? I've noticed you've been a little upset lately". This opens the door in a loving way. Really listen, not just with your ears but with your heart and instinct, to what your child has to say.

The second place I would go to is the child's teacher. Ask the teacher if there have been any problems in the classroom lately, how have grades been recently, etc. Get a feeling for what the teacher has been seeing. If you're comfortable with the teacher discuss the issues with your child and see if the teacher is willing to work on a plan of action with you. First by getting to the root of the problem and then by helping to correct it. Stay in touch with the teacher and make sure the teacher is following through.

The next line of defense that I would go to would be the Principal at your school. Discuss the issues with the Principal and see what resources are available. If you believe the problem is with the teacher or the classroom your child is in, don't be afraid to ask they move your child. A lot of schools will resist this for all they're worth, but be kindly firm. Be prepared to move up the proverbial school ladder to take care of your child.

If all else fails, try your Pediatrician. Your Pediatrician, if they are as good as you want them to be, will be very happy to help you with this situation. There might be a physiological reason for the sudden change. There might be something you've missed that an outside objective observer can see.

The most all-important thing for you to keep in mind is that you are your child's advocate. Your job is to help your child grow into a productive adult. You need to give them your unwavering support but that doesn't mean giving in at every whimper. It means standing up for them when they need it and correcting them when they need it.

*As a side note, please understand that I am in no way connected to the medical field. I'm not a psychologist or an MD. I'm just a mother of four children who has been through this with one child who was physically abused by his first grade teacher and another who had a first-time first grade teacher that couldn't control her out-of-control, screaming and bullying students. In both instances I found little help at the school level or even the district office level. I did however find help with my Pediatrician. If I can help one young mother who is intimidated by the school staff avoid a similar situation and save her family tremendous anguish, I've done what I set out to do.