A Husband's Duty The Drugstore Run
By: Tammy Elizabeth Southin
Dave had yet to make his first drug store run for his wife. The other fellows sitting around the table at the local bar knew this important initiation from years of experience. Fortunately for Dave, the guys had talked among themselves and agreed to help out this newlywed in the one area that almost every husband will be required to perform in the course of a marriage.
‘So Dave, have you made a run to the drug store for your wife yet?’ inquired Charlie, who knew full well that Dave had not.
‘No, but I don’t understand why we’re all here to talk about something as simple as going to the store and running an errand.’ Dave countered. Why did all old married guys have to make everything sound so chore-like, so dismal and so final?
‘This type of errand is something very different. There will come a time when you get handed the ‘list’ and are sent on your way.’ Murphy, the oldest of the bunch was the undisputed veteran.
‘Or,’ piped up Jack, never averting his gaze from the beer glass in front of him, ‘you’ll get ‘the call’ when you are at work and you have to plan for the run on the way home.’
‘Yeah, but the ultimate is when you are out with the guys, say like we are now, or playing your weekly poker game, or watching sports, and you are called to action.’ Steve, the final guy at the table had been just such a recipient of just such a call. Many times.
‘Ok, so I get a call to go to the drugstore? What’s the big deal?’ Dave shrugged.
‘Think for a minute, what do you think your wife will ask you to pick up?’ challenged Jack.
‘How should I know? Probably a bottle of pain-killers?’ Dave’s patience was thinning at this grilling.
‘Pain-killers, huh?’ chortled Jack.
‘Hey, that’s a reasonable request, given the circumstances when you think about it!’ Murphy knew full well what he was talking about.
‘Yeah, that makes sense. Now ask yourself what else goes hand in hand with such an item?’ Charlie continued to stare at the hockey game on the large-screen television. Years of experience allowed him to perform this rare feat of male multi-tasking.
‘Oh, who the hell knows? Maybe she just wants a magazine!’ suggested Dave in a slightly irritated tone.
‘Makes sense, since she’ll have some time on her hands.’ Jack acknowledged.
‘And, you know, it never hurts to throw in some chocolate for those emergencies!’ Murphy had practically earned a PhD over the last thirty years.
‘I still don’t get what this is all about!’ Dave’s virginity was most amusing.
‘You dumbass! At some point your wife is going to call you up or hand you a list and ask, no tell you to go and pick up,’ Charlie lowered his voice slightly and cleared his throat ‘to pick up some, you know, feminine protection.’ No matter how many times he said it, it just sounded too formal but they would have to break Dave in slowly with the lingo.
Part two to follow...
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