Guest Author - Deborah Crawford

Everyone from your eight-year-old neighbor to your eighty-year-old Granny has a cell phone these days, and in some apsects, that can be a great thing. If you have car trouble, or are running late for a meeting, a cell phone can save the day.

Cell phones are getting more and more complex. They can play movies and music and take pictures and send written messages and keep up with appointments and send and receive email and -- well, it'a rather endless. These phones come with instruction manuals and websites to help you learn how to utilize all their capabilities, but my fervent hope is that they soon include an etiquette guide.

Until then, here are my tips for mannerly cell phone use:

Meals: At home or in a restaurant, meal time is not telephone time. If you are eating alone, the person calling you does not want to hear chewing. If you are in the company of anyone else, answering your cell phone is in effect, telling your dining partners "This caller and I are more important than you."

Quite frankly, unless you are the go-to gal for Homeland Security, put the phone on silent and check messages later. DO NOT check the caller ID every time it rings. By checking to see who is calling, you are telling your company "This might be someone more important than you are to me." It is a distraction and a breach of manners each time you take your attention away from your company.

Networking Events: Luncheons and other special events are for building relationships with the other attendees. If you are too important to focus on the people at the meeting, leave and talk on your phone in the parking lot.

And, turn the ringer off. Many speakers now ask attendees to turn off their phones before they begin speaking. Surely, we should remember this without having to be reminded?

Interviews and other Important Meetings: If your phone rings while you are being interviewed for a job, shame on you! If you can discreetly reach it to turn it off and apologize profusely, you might not be immediately written off, but there are no guarantees.

If you are meeting with colleagues, superiors, or clients, turn off the phone before the meeting.

I have been in meetings where people answer their cellphone only to find out it's their child, just home from school, wanting to know if it's okay to make a peanut butter sandwich. "Okay, I'm in a meeting, I told you not to call unless it's an emergency," the parent hisses into the phone, then turns around, blushing and wondering how they can ever be taken seriously again.

Public Places: In general, this is probably not a breach of etiquette, but definitely deserves a mention. You've seen, or may even own one of those wireless cell phone attachments which hook onto your ear and enable you to talk while shopping, waiting for the bus, trying on clothes, standing in line, and so on.

Again, there's nothing inherently wrong with those and they are better than trying to juggle a phone and a cup of coffee while driving, but pay attention to other people using them. They are easy to spot. Before cellphones, they would have been carted off somewhere for therapy because they appear to be talking to themselves. Sometimes loudly, sometimes personally, and sometimes angrily. We forget when we are on the phone that we can be seen, and heard by others.

I was in a home improvement store recently and witnessed this conversation between a woman and a toilet:

Woman: "What am I supposed to do?"

Toilet sits quietly.

Woman: "Just tell me what you want me to do!"

Toilet ignores her.

Woman: "You're full of SXXX!"

I don't what the toilet said, but I cracked up. The thing is this woman had no idea I heard her. I could have been her neighbor, her boss, her Sunday school teacher. She never saw me. And, this conversation was pretty mild compared to some I have overheard in public.

Essentially, cell phone etiquette is pretty easy. Just be considerate of others.

If you must answer your phone while talking to someone face to face, say something like "Please excuse me." and then excuse yourself--go to a hallway or outside to conduct your conversation. Sitting across the table or standing next to someone while you are talking to someone else makes them uncomfortable. They wonder "Should I listen?", "How can I not listen?" "Should I walk away? Would that be rude of me?" Putting someone in that sort of predicament is just bad manners.

These same rules apply for sending and receiving text messages or doing any other "cool" thing with your phone. If you are with others, don't do it.

These "tips" for cell phone use are of course important when dealing with clients or business associates, but even more so when dealing with your children, your family and friends, and people who work for you. Your undivided attention is a gift you should give to anyone who matters in your life.

To learn more about business etiquette, read Business Etiquette for Dummies.