For so many of my friends, having a baby was not a decision--it just happened. Now, that is not to say that they were unhappy about it, but I am saying that they did not consciously choose that month to make it happen. They were thinking about it, and even getting sloppy with birth control, and if it happened, it happened. Then I have a handful of friends who consciously decided that now was the time, and they were actively working on getting pregnant.

For all of them, though, there are some key components that made the timing good for them. These components are their relationship with their spouses or boyfriends, their financial situation, and their jobs.

You have probably heard that a baby is not the answer to a troubled relationship, and that is very true. Babies, as wonderful as they are, are also stressful. Add a baby to a stressed, troubled relationship, and that is often the factor that leads to the break-up. It isn't that the parents don't love the baby very much, but the stress of being a parent exacerbates a relationship that was already struggling. Some couples work through it and even come out happier. No counselor would recommmend having a baby to strengthen a relationship, though.

Finances are no small thing in life in general. I have a friend who at 20 weeks pregnant was already stressed about finding daycare when the baby was projected to be six weeks old. Daycare for infants is harder to find and more expensive. Even with a lead time of 26 weeks, she was being placed on waiting lists. She had no choice, however, because she had to return to work as soon as maternity leave was over. When you think about a sweet, little baby, think also about the expenses that accompany them--daycare, food, diapers, clothing, carseats, cribs, and more. However, remember that you can do a lot of things less expensively, like swap clothes with friends who have children already and shop the discount stores for furniture. Babies do not need all new stuff! But if you're already living month-to-month with your current expenses, you should look very carefully at what expenses you can eliminate and start saving money before you have a baby.

Finally, your job is a factor. If you travel a lot for work, will you be able to continue that after the baby arrives, or will you be able to switch jobs to one that pays you what you already make? Will you want to do that? If you work a job that expects 60-hour work weeks, will you jeopardize your job if you are no longer able to do that? Is part-time an option? Or can you afford to quit for a few years, and if you do, would you be able to return to a similar job? If you are in school, will you be able to finish?

Even if you are on solid ground in your relationship, your job and your finances, having a baby will change your life drastically. Anything you can do in advance to make that change easier and less stressful will help you enjoy your pregnancy and your baby more.