Guest Author - Ellen Winick
Deciding to have a baby may be one of the biggest decisions you will make in your life. Many couples jump into the decision, only to be surprised later by the magnitude of what they have done. Having a baby can be like embarking on a roller coaster ride that will last for many, many years.
If you’re the type who loves roller coasters even if you’ve just eaten a full meal, are dressed in a skirt and heels (or suit and tie) or have the flu, then you can skip this section. Otherwise, here are some thoughts on things to think about now so your transition into parenting is as easeful as possible.
Timing: There will probably never be an exact right time to have a baby. But, some times may be more appropriate than others. Consider the following questions in determining if you are close to being ready:
- Do both you and your partner want to have children? Are you both ready now?
- Have you had enough time to lay the foundation for your relationship and enjoy what the two of you are creating, before adding another family member?
- How will getting pregnant affect your career? And, is this a good time to begin the challenge of balancing work and family life?
- Do you have a network of support (friends, family, professionals) to help you through the pregnancy and early years of parenting? If not, begin taking action to lay the foundation for this support.
- Do you feel emotionally prepared to fully care for another person? This often means setting aside your own needs, at least temporarily.
- What does your gut tell you about whether or not this is a good time to begin a family? If there's something stopping you, but you're not quite sure what that is, take the pressure off by giving yourself some time. You might discover what is holding you back or, the hesitation may go away with time.
Costs: There are many financial costs associated with raising a child. Though you don’t need to plan for all of them now, it might be helpful to at least ensure that you have adequate health insurance (or other financial means) to cover prenatal care and the expense of labor and delivery.
Age: There is no optimal age to have a baby, but there is evidence that women in their mid to late 40s experience more fertility issues. Women are born with all the eggs they will ever have. These eggs deteriorate over time and may create difficulties with fertility. A man's fertility and sexual function can decline with age, though it is not as clearly a factor as a woman's.
Health: If either of you have health issues which might affect your ability to get pregnant or to have a healthy pregnancy, this is the time to address those, before you get pregnant.
