Guest Author - Terrie Lynn Bittner

Since I'm not, as you've probably guessed by now, a big fan of anything domestic, I've become an expert delegater. I have never really understood the idea of a woman doing all the work herself. While it is not, as I sometimes tell my children, the reason I had them in the first place, they are the reason the house needs so much work anyway. Without children, I'd just glue myself to my computer and not mess up any other rooms. For that matter, there wouldn't be as many rooms to mess up. So, the kids have to help.

The best time to start children on chores is when they are very young, so young that chores are still fun, and so young that they will never be able to remember a time when chores were not just a normal part of life. A toddler can be taught to pick up a toy and carry it to the toybox as soon as she can walk and hold toys at the same time. At that age, it is a game.

When children get just a little older, they can be given an apron and taught to play at being a grown-up. If they are given a little mixing bowl and spoon when you cook in the kitchen, they will also imitate you when you do other chores. Even the littlest ones should assist you when you clean their room. They can be handed toys to put away, allowed to dust with a feather duster and help make the bed. Sure, you can do it faster yourself, but you are thinking long-term right now. Parenting for today invariably creates spoiled children. Your long-range plan is to get this child to clean his own room and as soon as possible.

When children are preschoolers and older, you can apply some parental creativity to your chore time. Preschoolers do not demand particularly interesting games. Any silly thing usually works. I didn't bribe the children, but I did tell them what we were going to do next and that we couldn't do it if we ran out of time. Story time is more fun than chore time, so I usually had chore time just before story time. The faster we finished, the more stories we had time for.

Have preschoolers treat picking up time as a treasure hunt. Assign them to pick up only blue things first, or only things with wheels. Order them to pretend they are robots or birds or dogs and to pick up the way that creature would. Challenge them to set a new world record in pick up. Do this by purchasing a large sturdy basket. Have the kids pick up everything that isn't trash or
breakable and throw it into the basket. Time them. Write the time on a wipe-off board or poster with the date. Each time they do it, challenge them to beat their record. Once a week, start over, because they will eventually max out and be unable to go any faster. (Make sure they put everything in the basket away.)

My mother always assigned us to work in the same area of the house. While we tackled the living room and dining room, she cleaned the kitchen and fired questions at us. "What were the names of Columbus' three ships?" "Who was president when the Korean War started?" "What books did Laura Ingalls Wilder write?" Sometimes she recited the first line of poem or famous speech. We had to continue as far as we could and name the author. When we were stumped, she gave us the next line and moved on. Other days, we made up what we called talking stories. We each created a character and agreed on a basic plot. (When we were working without parents, we were invariably orphans.) Then we told the story, each of us contributing as we went along. Favorite stories got repeated with revisions to suit our moods. Sometimes we sang or told jokes we looked up earlier in the day. Our minds were kept occupied so that we didn't whine or ask if we could stop.

Don't underestimate what a child can do. Even preschoolers can do their own laundry with help. They like sorting laundry, climbing on a stool to dump in clothes and later folding clothes, as long as you do it with them. That time with you is still precious to them at this age. Make a fuss over their accomplishments, gradually decreasing the size of the fuss. (You don't want them to expect a parade for cleaning their rooms.) Let them try all sorts of chores. We rotated, assigning each group of chores to the children for a week. I wanted my children to know how to completely run the house if they had to for any reason. When I was ten, my mother was hospitalized and I was put in charge of the home. I hadn't a clue what it was my mother did all day. (It was after this that she introduced chores.)

Older children may need an instruction sheet to help them clean a room without your presence. Because I had a house full of kids with ADD, I made charts and hung them on the walls. The children could go down the list to be sure they didn't forget anything and the chart kept them from feeling overwhelmed. Charts may need to be specific at first (Pick up all the blocks. Pick up all the toy cars.) Later you can be more general, as you discover they no longer need so many details. (Pick up room. Make bed. Dust.)

Assigning your children chores is good for the entire family. It frees you up to do more important things, like reading, church work, writing a best-seller and playing with your children. It teaches your children responsibility and prepares them for a future as missionaries, employees and parents. It makes you a team in creating a successful home. Even though getting through the chores may
be a real...chore...right now, you are building blessings for the future.