Guest Author - Terrie Lynn Bittner

Our family has moved fairly often because of employment. Each time I assume it will be easy for the children because they’ve done it a number of times before, and each time I am reminded how difficult it is for all of us to get started again. Getting settled into a new ward is always a priority, since we want to feel at home with our new church family, especially if we have moved far from our birth families. Over the years, we’ve learned a few tricks to get us started quickly.

1. Let them know you are coming. LDS.org offers a meetinghouse locator. Type in your new home address and it will help you find your new ward. Do a little research and find out who the bishop is. One way to do this is to get the telephone number from the listing and call on Tuesday or Wednesday nights. Mutual is generally being held one of those nights. Ask if there is an address you can send a letter or email to and reach your new bishop. (It's often on the tithing envelopes.) When you write, include your children’s names, ages and email addresses. Ask them if they could find a youth to email your young person. We got an email from a young man in our newest ward, telling us all about the teenagers they would meet and asking for information about our teens. When we arrived the first week, all the teenagers wanted to know if we were the family from California. My husband came a month early, so people were already looking for the rest of us, and we were promptly welcomed home.

2. My teenagers say it is easier to attend Mutual before attending Sunday classes. If possible, arrange for them to attend Mutual their first week there.

3. Invite the youth leaders or Primary teachers to your home. If you have teens, and you haven’t been to church yet, ask the leader to bring a teenager or child with her, so your child knows someone the first day. In one ward, the leader showed up with two girls who lived on our street, and then took my daughter and those girls to baseball practice and to Mutual that night, so she didn’t have to walk in alone.

4. Don’t neglect your own settling-in. The best way to fit into a new ward is to go to work. Ask the bishop to give you a calling right away. Volunteer to be a visiting teacher. Ask if there is anything you can do to help with the next activity. Give a prayer. Give your number to the compassionate service leader and ask her to give you a call first the next time there is a need. As you work in the ward, you meet others, show yourself to be a valuable addition to the ward, and begin to feel a part of things.

5. Introduce yourself. In some wards, such as my newest one, everyone goes out of their way to introduce themselves and to get acquainted. In others, especially large ones, there are so many people no one really notices I am new. In those wards, it is my responsibility to meet people. Instead of sitting alone, sit beside someone and introduce yourself. Choose someone who interests you and invite her for lunch. Ask a question during refreshments at Enrichment Night: Where are the best places to grocery shop? Is there an LDS bookstore in this area? Where is the most interesting place to take my children next Saturday on our family outing?

6. Look for the good. I've discovered that I invariably see what I expect to see. I once moved into a ward that seemed so warm and welcoming to me. Another sister who moved in at the same time found it to be a cold and distant ward. She expected a bad ward and got one. I expected a good one and got that. When I move into a ward, I try to focus on all the good things I encounter, and try to ignore anything that makes me uncomfortable and that helps me stay in the habit of noticing what a great home I've found.

It can be tempting, in the insecurity of being the new family, to sit back and hope others take on responsibility for helping you feel welcome. If you take charge of your own happiness, you will feel at home much sooner. In every ward, there are lonely people. If the ward feels so settled there is no room for you, look around for the other lonely people and create your own circle of friends. You’ll have found your place, and helped others at the same time.